Broken Souls
by Angelinasway
Summary: Broken from losing the man she loves, and finding out she can no longer die. Buffy begins working for the Powers that Be. How will her life change when she meets a man just as broken as she is.
1. Prologue

Author's Notes: Okay so I have been wanting to write this story for awhile now, and I know I have unfinished ones out there, but my muse wouldn't let me rest until I wrote the first chapter of this. The rating is subject to change, depending on how graphic this gets. Hope you all enjoy this and remember reviews are like hot chocolate they make me feel warm inside.

Special thanks to Spikelissa for her wonderful beta job.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Prologue

They were celebrating, all of them. It had been exactly seven months since the destruction of Sunnydale, and they were all living it up in the training room. She didn't blame them. Her girls deserved a night off, and what better night to do it, than the seven month anniversary of the day they were all called. Buffy just couldn't find it within herself to join them. All that she cared about, save for her sister, crumbled to dust that fateful day.

The people she had once called her friends felt like strangers to her now, and after everything that had happened between them, she honestly didn't think they could ever be the same again. She didn't blame them for their distance, or the tension that permeated between all of them. They had learned some hard painful lessons that last year in Sunnydale, and truth be told; they had all hurt each other, in one way or another, throughout the years. She just didn't know how long it would take for all of their wounds to heal. She didn't hate them, but she couldn't help the resentment she felt towards them, and being around them was like trying to swallow a bitter chalky pill.

She missed Sunnydale. It had seemed so much simpler then, or at least it did now. Slay the demons, save the world, and then party. It's why she had left England and came to Cleveland. She had needed to feel that little bit of normalcy again. So, that _maybe,_ she could feel like herself again.

She wasn't in the proper frame of mind to be Head Slayer at Headquarters anyway. So, she had graciously passed on the torch to Kennedy, and even though they hated each other with the power of a thousand suns. Buffy could at least swallow her pride and admit that she was the next best choice. Especially since Faith also turned the position down.

Dawn wanted to go to Rome and help Andrew with the new Slayers there. She found her calling. She was going to become a Watcher, and Buffy couldn't have been prouder of her baby sister. The excitement in her eyes was enough reason to allow her to go. Saying goodbye to Dawn had been the only hard thing about leaving.

That had been six months ago, and she didn't feel anymore like herself. There was a hole, a missing piece, and no matter what she did, she couldn't fill it. She tried not to think of what that meant, of what kind of person this made her. She refused to see it, refusing to even acknowledge…not until it was too late, and _now,_ her regret…it was all consuming.

She couldn't think of him. She refused to even say his name. Not in her head, and certainly not aloud, because if she let the words fly…if she uttered those five letters. All of this, everything that had happened…was real. So, Buffy fought evil, and trained her girls, overworked herself, and ate too little. She couldn't stop, had to keep going, and she hated sleeping, because that's when her nightmare was real. That's when he was really gone.

Luckily, for her, it wasn't that difficult to stay busy. Giles decided that since Faith turned down the position of Head Slayer too, that she would go to Cleveland with Buffy. There she would help Buffy start up a secondary training facility for the Slayers that they would undoubtedly be sent their way. Buffy was surprised that Faith had agreed to this.

What Giles had neglected to mention was that he had bigger plans for Buffy and Faith than either of them anticipated. He decided that, because of Buffy's very small stint in counseling and Faith's quest for redemption. They would be perfect candidates to train the more unorthodox Slayers. Which in laymen's terms meant; he wanted them responsible for those who could possibly become a problem. Of course, the truly mentally disturbed went to a facility that had been around since the old Watchers Council, but the ones who had been in gangs, thrown out on the streets, or worse, abused. These were the ones sent to Buffy and Faith in Cleveland, Ohio.

They found an abandoned private school building for their students, and they had it renovated. It had only taken a month to complete the project, and Buffy was proud of the work they had done. They had made the classrooms into Slayer quarters, allowing the girls to have their own rooms, and only keeping a few for the basic required classes needed for Slayers. They converted the gym into a large training room. It was truly perfect for what they needed.

Buffy smiled as she heard an obnoxious shout from Rayann. She was Buffy's favorite student. Her life had been hard. Full of drugs, and sex, and things Buffy really didn't want to think about, but becoming a Slayer had been like finding the home Rayann never had. The girl loved her calling, and the truth was, she was one of the best Buffy had ever seen. Hell, if Buffy was being completely honest, Rayann probably would have made a better Slayer than herself when she was first called.

The girl had more potential in her pinky than Kennedy had in her whole body, and her happy-go-lucky spirit—even after everything she had been through—was something a good leader really needed. It kept the girls motivated and ready to fight, while at the same time, letting them remember it was still okay to have fun once in a while. It was a quality that Buffy herself had lost over the years, one that seemed almost impossible to get back. That frightened her more than anything else. Especially since what she had been suspecting was going on with her, was becoming a reality.

She suspected it since Sunnydale…since that day down in the Hellmouth. She clearly remembered being run through by a sword, and the agony as it had sliced into her kidney. She felt like she was on fire, and her legs buckled making her fall onto her stomach. She remembered thinking that she was going to die, and had told Faith to hold the line. It was then she began to notice her Slayer healing kicking into overdrive. She remembered watching as the girls began to falter, so many of them dying around her. Suddenly, The First was there, right in her face, ridiculing and mocking her.

Fierce anger and hatred, unlike anything she had ever experienced welled in her chest, and she remembered finding the strength to stand back up. The rest of what happened was somewhat of a blur…well most of it. The other things…those things she refused to think about…came after, and she wouldn't dare try to analyze any of that, for fear she would go insane. She could safely recall pulling up to the motel outside of Los Angeles, without fear of her mind wandering, because at that time Robin had begun to convulse and it was imperative that they get him to an emergency room.

Buffy and Faith had both volunteered, and it wasn't until they reached the hospital that Buffy remembered her wound. Or rather, the nurse who had forced her to get it checked out did. What had surprised Buffy at the time was the fact that her wound had already sealed. It was nothing more than a shallow cut, with a matching twin on her back side. She didn't have time to dwell on it though, because a doctor had come out looking somber.

When the doctor had taken them aside and announced that Robin had died, Faith had completely lost it. Buffy had never seen her like that, not once in the whole time of knowing her. She had collapsed in grief, and all Buffy could do was fall to her knees and hold her heart-broken comrade. It was then that she realized how much her sister-slayer had grown in the past three years, how much she had changed. Faith had earned something that she had never had before. Without even trying, she earned Buffy's respect.

As Buffy watched Faith cry her heart out, it took everything in her power not to join her. Her grief was right under the surface, bubbling in her throat and wanting release, but she swallowed it down, stamping on it until it was nothing more than dull ache. She had to be strong. She had to forget, because she was the only one who could hold it all together. That was the price of being a leader. That was her sacrifice; her feelings weren't important, only the mission was.

Last week, something had happened that had reminded Buffy of that day in the Hellmouth, and how quickly her wound had healed. She was out patrolling in her favorite cemetery. The one she lit a candle in every night for fallen heroes when, she was suddenly, jumped by five vamps. Normally it would have been a cake walk, but they had surprised her while she had been performing her nightly ritual, and slammed her head against the mausoleum wall.

She had been dizzy from the blow, but had managed to drag herself to her feet. That's when she noticed her own dagger protruding from her chest. She must have accidentally stabbed herself in the fall. She had yanked the offending object out, and still managed to dust all five of their asses, but after all the blood loss and the exhaustion from the fight she had passed out on the cold stone floor of the tomb.

When she awoke it was a few hours later, and she was covered in her own blood and gore, but the wound had once again healed completely, leaving nothing but a small scratch over her heart. The real shocker though had been when she noticed her smell and the feeling in her pants. She urinated and defecated on herself, and that's when she knew. All the blood caked on her and around her. No one could have survived that, not even a Slayer.

She had died! God, she was an immortal, as in really! It was why she was in her office at 9:00pm. She had just finished the recommendation letter for Rayann, and now she had to figure out a way to tell Giles. Calling him was out of the question. She had tried, and every time the words got stuck. '_How do you even say that?'_ "Hey Giles, I died last week. How do I know? Oh, well…I bleed out, and realized I pissed and shit myself after I woke up. Was I drunk? Of course not!" '_Yeah, that would go over well.'_

So now she sat here staring at a blank word document, and she still didn't know what to say. Her mind began to wonder as she zoned out in front of the screen. If she couldn't die…God, she must not be allowed to return to paradise. She would have to stay here and watch everyone she loved die. It was almost enough to make her want to march into the bathroom and slit her wrists, just to make sure.

The truth was though, she would never do that. He had died so she could live. He had saved them all, and she wouldn't disrespect his memory in such a way, even if she was stuck here. If she, for one second happened to be wrong…facing his disappointed gaze in the afterlife would destroy her.

She sighed, and began typing:

_Dear Giles,_

_I have a very big problem._

'_There!' _Buffy thought, '_Get right to the point.'_

_I have begun to have some very real suspicions. Well, to put it bluntly… I think I may be immortal. _

_Last week there was an incident that has led me to believe-_

"Ms. Summers!" Sarah bellowed down the corridor, startling Buffy from her letter. "There's a big green demon with horns, here to see you."

Buffy frowned and stood up. She grabbed the dagger that she kept sheathed underneath her desk. She doubted anything, but a harmless demon would dare show up at a Slayer School, but she could never be too carful nowadays. They had already had a few attacks from some of the older demons who had resided in Cleveland for more than a few decades. They definitely didn't like the Slayers moving in on their turf, but they learned quickly that the girls wouldn't be detoured, and it had been really quiet on that front lately.

She heard an enthusiastic squeal as she walked down the corridor to the lobby. "No way! Lorne, is that you?" Faith's husky voice carried down the hallway.

"Hey sugarplum, how you been?" A gentle male voice answered in greeting.

Buffy wondered who the voice belonged to. He didn't sound evil, but you could never be too sure. Obviously though, Faith knew him pretty well, which was weird, because Faith wasn't really known to consort with demons. '_Well, unless of course, they were souled vampires,'_ Buffy thought with a little bit of bitterness.

She shook herself quickly though, that was the old Faith, the one who had wanted to destroy her. This Faith, actually seemed to care for her. She always had her back nowadays, and she had become the closest friend whom Buffy had.

"Man, we've been great! It was pretty hectic at first, but once we got everything in order, it's been five by five." Faith said happily.

It was weird, but that was true. After losing Robin, Faith had thrown herself into Slaying. She was an excellent teacher, and even though she would never admit it, Buffy knew she had found a family in these girls. She took her redemption to a whole new level when she had volunteered to be head counselor to all the girls with a criminal past, which was most of them. It was an amazing accomplishment, especially because she seemed to be really helping.

"So," Faith said, "How's Evil Inc.? Still changing things from the inside out?"

Buffy stopped dead in her tracks at that question. '_Angel,'_ she thought angrily. She couldn't believe he had taken over that stupid law firm. '_What had he even been thinking?'_

Her anger quickly dissolved though, when she heard Faith's whispered. "Oh, shit."

Buffy rounded the corner just in time to see one of the most flamboyantly dressed demons she had ever seen. It would have been funny, if the scene itself wasn't so heart breaking. The demon Faith had called Lorne, had fallen to his knees and was sobbing loudly.

"Everyone's…dead." Lorne muttered between sobs. He took a deep breath and looked up meeting Buffy's eyes. He must have seen something then, because he quickly looked away and his sobs picked up again. "I-I couldn't help him anymore…not after what he made me do."

Faith then helped Lorne to his feet and ushered him to one of the couches. "You couldn't help who, Lorne? After, who made you do what?"

His sobs had lessened some, but there was still a prominent hitching in his voice as he spoke. "A-Angel, he made me do it. I-I didn't want to, but he was right. Lindsey wouldn't have stopped if I-I didn't."

"Didn't what?" It was Buffy who spoke now. She was just as curious as Faith at this point, and she couldn't help remember a conversation she had with Angel several summers ago. "You mean handless Lindsey, the lawyer."

Lorne met her eyes again then quickly looked away. He was right; he could sell the movie rights to this and make a killing. Buffy was in turmoil, had been since she had lost him. It was one of those wrong places, wrong time stories.

He didn't know her path because she had never sung for him, but her misery was a permeable dark cloud that hovered around her. He realized then, that he would be the one responsible for sending her over the edge. Not because of what he had done, but because of what he had promised to tell her.

"That's the one." He said, looking into her eyes. It was hard to watch the conflict in her eyes. She already knew Angel had made him kill Lindsey. So did Faith. He didn't need to elaborate. "There's more though…I have some letters, for the Chosen. Specifically, the ones _they_ had met."

The emphasis he put onthey_,_ had a dreadful knot forming in Buffy's stomach. What did he mean by _they_? There was only one true demon from that group that she personally knew. Her lips began to tremble as she finally replied. "What do you mean by _they_?"

Lorne's eyes closed; he couldn't look at the devastation on her face when he told her. '_That stupid moron! Why hadn't he at least called her and let her know?' _So instead he said. "I'm so sorry Buffy. I wish he at least called and told you."

Her heart began to thunder in her chest and goose bumps broke out along her skin. She curled her hands into fists to try and stop the shaking that had begun in them. '_Who was this demon talking about?' _But even as the thought surfaced, a niggling voice in the back of her mind told her she already knew. She took a very deep breath and finally asked the inevitable question. "Who should have called me?"

Lorne looked at her briefly before dropping his eyes to the ground again. He swallowed hard and then reached into his jacket and pulled out the letters and held them out to Faith, who was still crouched concerned in front of Lorne.

Faith took the letters from Lorne and flipped threw them. One was for her, and she recognized the hand writing immediately. It was from Angel. The other two letters were for Buffy. One of which was also from Angel. The other handwriting, however, she did not recognize. She shrugged, not knowing what to think. She then stood up and handed the letters to Buffy. It was then that she noticed Buffy's hands were shaking.

As Buffy tentatively reached out and took the envelopes from Faith, it felt like she was in a dream. She couldn't hear anything, but the sound of her heart galloping in her chest, and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. She slowly brought the envelopes into her line of sight, and had to blink a few times before her vision cleared enough to make out the elegant script that was scrawled across them.

Buffy stumbled back and hit the wall when she recognized his handwriting, and tears she had held in for seven months began coursing down her cheeks in rivers. She brought her hand up to her mouth trying to hold in the scream that was bubbling in her throat. When she was suddenly wrapped in a strong embrace she couldn't hold it in anymore. Buffy did the only thing she could; she buried her face in Faith's shoulder and screamed as loud as she could.

Faith knew who the other letter was from as soon as she saw all the color drain from Buffy's face. She watched as a look of sheer horror shown threw Buffy's eyes and she stumbled. That's when Faith sprung into action, getting to her sister Slayers side right when she hit the wall.

It's not that Faith didn't think that Buffy would be upset to hear that Angel had died, but Buffy could still say Angel's name. It was Spike's name whom she refused to say, and anytime he was mentioned, she would leave the room. Faith had tried on several occasions to get Buffy to open up about him, but it only made Buffy agitated, and once she had even lashed out.

When Faith felt the vibration of Buffy's scream against her shoulder, she grabbed on as tight as she could, knowing Buffy would try to push her away soon. What surprised her though was when she suddenly found herself slammed into the wall on the other side of the lobby. Buffy stood there shaking and looking at her apologetically with tears still streaming down her cheeks.

Buffy shook her head. "No...no...no…" She muttered to herself. "I j-just… I need to be alone for a little while. I-I'm sorry," and then she was gone, heading straight for the cafeteria.

A group of the Slayers had run into the lobby wondering what all the commotion was about. All of them were shocked to see one of their leaders in tears, especially Buffy. She had always seemed so level headed. Rayann was the first to step forward, trying to step in front of her mentor's path and see if she could get some answers.

Buffy couldn't speak as the sobs began to bubble once again in her throat, and she pushed past Rayann without even realizing who it was. She brought her hand back up to her mouth to stem off the sobs that were making their way out of her mouth. She needed to get away. She needed to think, but most of all she needed a drink. It wasn't something she did very often, but right now it is a necessity.

All the people in the lobby listened as the lock was broken and the alarm sounded on Faiths stash of alcohol. It was something that most of the girls knew about, but didn't dare touch for fear of the wrath of Faith. They heard the sound of bottle's breaking, and Faith grimaced.

"Man, I hope that isn't my Grey Goose." Faith mumbled to herself. Lorne was in front of her the next second.

"You need to go after her. She's found something out, and she's not right at this moment." He said urgently. "You need to be there for her, Faith. She needs you, and…" He looked around, eyes landing on Rayann's. "You."

Rayann's eyes widened, and she squeaked. "Me?"

"Yes." He stated, simply. "You're her favorite, and right now she needs you."

Rayann's eyes wavered to Faith, who nodded in agreement.

"Alright girls." Faith said in a stern voice. "Lorne's gonna be staying with us for awhile. He's a close friend of mine, and you all know how much I hate it when my friends get disrespected. So be on your best behavior, you here?"

She then turned to Lorne and nodded. "You can stay as long as you want. They won't mess with you. Sarah, show Lorne to his room."

Faith eyes then landed on Rayann's. "You're with me," and then they were gone, racing towards the upper levels, because that's where they felt her strongest.

* * *

Buffy sat on the roof of the school staring at the envelope in her hand. She had already read Angel's. Finding out once again he made a decision without her. '_Big surprise there,'_ She snorted, and then took another long drink off the bottle she nabbed from Faith's liquor cabinet.

She could hear Angel now, telling her that he only kept Spike away because he thought it was what she needed. She could even hear the words he must have spoken to Spike to make him stay away. She closed her eyes before a new wave of sobs wracked her body. _'Oh God…Spike.'_

She hadn't opened his letter yet. She wanted to wallow in her misery for a little while. She knew that whatever he had written would be sweet and wonderful, and she would start blubbering like a baby all over again. He always had the effect on her.

Heavy tears slid down her cheeks, and she pressed the envelope to her eyes, crying against the paper. She couldn't completely blame Angel, as much as she would have liked to. No, she _knew_ this was mostly her fault. If she had just told him sooner, or if she hadn't kissed Angel, she knew he would have come and found her. Hell, he probably thought he was doing her a favor, _'Stupid vampire.'_

They had been through a lot throughout the years, but she knew he wouldn't ever be able to forgive himself for what he had tried to do, even if she already had. The truth was she had forgiven him a long time ago. She had forgiven him when she had found out he had gotten his soul for her. She hadn't wanted too. She had always felt she had forgiven Angel much too quickly after the fiasco of him losing his soul, and for that. Spike had been the brunt of her anger at herself, like he always was.

She had been very naïve for forgiving Angel so quickly, and very stupid for not telling Spike she forgave him sooner. She remembered that night in the bathroom clearly, especially the look on his face after she had kicked him away. He had felt guilt and horror at what he had almost done. Something she never thought she would see cross his features, and the even more amazing thing was. He hadn't gone after her again. He had stopped and left, even after she had spat her venomous words at him.

'_Would Angelus?'_ In the past when this thought would surface she would stamp it down and not analyze it, because she already knew the answer. When Spike had returned though, and she had learned the truth, she couldn't help analyzing it over and over again. The answer was obvious.

No…Angelus would not have stopped. He would have got sick pleasure out of tearing into her, and telling her how disgusting she was, how he was only doing this to break her will, and how there were so many other women out there better than her. She would have looked into his eyes and seen nothing but empty black hatred, because Angelus didn't love her…and it wasn't as if she hadn't realized Angelus didn't love her before. Oh she knew that. It was just…It took her all that time to realize how much Spike really did love her, how far he _and_ his demon were willing to go for her. It was then, when she had realized that she had begun to love him in turn.

She still didn't know why she kissed Angel that day, but she suspected it was because she had wanted to see if he could make her forget the way Spike could. The way Angel used to. She knew then though that she didn't love him anymore, that whatever it was they had was truly gone. It hadn't felt right kissing him, and she didn't know why she left him with even a smidgeon of hope, when she gave him that ridicules cookie dough analogy.

Buffy sniffed miserably as she took another long pull from the bottle. She couldn't even taste it, she was to upset, and had to blink a few times when she realized she had drunken half the bottle. She couldn't feel it either; her mind was too much of a mess.

Buffy sighed as she heard the others approach. She didn't know what she was going to do now. Part of her just wanted to leave to parts unknown. To take off and never come back, but she had grown to love Faith over these few months, and she knew leaving would make things harder on her sister-slayer. Then, there was Rayann, who really looked up to Buffy. It wouldn't be right to just up and leave the girl, even if she was being recommended for Head Slayer.

The girls sat down on either side of Buffy. Rayann ran her fingers over her purple hair, her dark, coal rimmed eyes staring out into the darkness of the city. She didn't know how to approach her mentor, what to say to make her pain stop. She had enough of her own pain that she was still dealing with, but she knew Buffy needed her now. Yet, she was at a loss. She reached into her jacket and pulled out her pack of smokes. She knew if anything would get a rise out of Ms. Summers this would be it. She was always riding her ass for smoking.

Faith watched as Rayann slightly smirked when Buffy snatched the cigarette out of her mouth right when she lit it, but the look of horror that was replaced when Buffy took a drag had Faith stifling a snort. Faith didn't know what to expect, but Buffy taking up a new habit certainly wasn't it. It was almost comical the way she would chew the girls out when she even smelt smoke on them, and now here she was joining the fray. Yes, something was most definitely wrong here.

Buffy studied the smoldering cancer-stick for a few long seconds before shrugging, taking one more drag, and handing it back. She didn't need to worry about cancer now, did she? She didn't need to worry about her health at all. She sighed warily then looked at Faith. "Something's happened." She said quietly.

"We know the letter's from Spike," Faith said, wincing as she prepared for a hit to the jaw. When none came she sighed in relief, though when the hysterical giggle erupted from Buffy's mouth and then ended on a sob. She really started to worry.

"Yeah," Buffy whispered. "The letter is from him, but that's only half of my problem right now."

"What is it?" Rayann prodded, finally speaking for the first time. She didn't know what was going on with Ms. Summers, but she was going to find out. She was so out of character right now, that if Rayann hadn't witnessed Buffy's breakdown in the lobby with her own eyes, she would be convinced she was possessed at this moment.

"I knew for sure last week." Buffy began quietly, and Faith froze when realization dawned on her. The clothes she found stuffed in the trash last week. The ones covered in blood, they must have been Buffy's. When Faith had first found them, she had been pissed. She had thought one of the girls had gone dark-side on some poor demon, but apparently she was going to find out that wasn't the case at all.

As Buffy's story progressed, Faith's eyes filled with horror. If anybody deserved entry into heaven, it was Buffy. Hell, she had already been once. That must have been it then. That must have been what threw the balance off in the first place. If Buffy couldn't die, then there would always be two Slayers. That must have been what had allowed The First entry into this realm.

She wondered if they screwed up even more by allowing all the Slayers to get called. There were thousands now, and new ones being called every day, but part of her knew that wasn't true. They had needed more power. The Shadow Men wouldn't have offered it to Buffy if it wasn't something she needed, and though she hadn't taken it. The power that they had used had been necessary, not to mention pure white magic. It hadn't been anything like the spell Willow had used to bring Buffy back.

They sat there silently for several long minutes after Buffy had finished speaking. Finally, Rayann spoke. "You're leaving us aren't you?"

Surprise filled Buffy's face, before a flash of guilt ran across her features. Rayann hadn't seen it, but Faith had, and that's when an idea began to play across Faith's mind. It was an idea she had before, but hadn't seriously considered. Now though, it almost seemed genius.

"N-no," Buffy whispered. "I'm not leaving you."

Faith looked at Buffy then, really looked at her for the first time in a while. Her eyes were hollow and sad, with black shadows underneath them. Her California tan had faded in the months being here in Cleveland, and she looked almost sickly now. She was way too skinny as well, and her whole personality had become darker, emptier. That's when Faith made up her mind. Buffy was wilting here, withering away to nothing, and if they didn't do something soon, they would end up with an immortal Slayer tearing ass through the city when she finally snapped completely.

"I think you should go." Faith said quietly.

Buffy's eyes then snapped to Faith's. She didn't know if the alcohol was just kicking in or if she was hearing things, but her anger bubbled at the thought that Faith still didn't want her around. She had a snide comment right on the tip of her tongue when Faith's next words silenced her.

"You're suffocating here B. I and everyone else can see it." Faith said, reaching for the bottle that Buffy was babysitting. She pulled the bottle up to her lips and took a long slow sip before, meeting her friend's eyes. "You need to find yourself again B, or you're gonna end up just as fucked up as me."

Buffy smiled grimly before replying. "I think you are a lot less fucked up than me right now."

Rayann laughed, rarely ever hearing Ms. Summers say fuck. "Yah, but no one is as fucked up as I am."

Buffy looked at her, and rolled her eyes. "You know that's not true." She shook her head waving her arm out in front of her and turned back to Faith. "But wait we're getting off topic… and wow…am I buzzed." She shook her head again and pointed at Faith. "You think I should leave, but where would I even go?"

"I actually have an idea for that." Faith said. "You remember how a couple of months ago we were talking about Jamie being the go to girl for all the harmless demons in Cleveland."

Buffy nodded. "Well yeah, of course I remember. It was my idea after all."

Faith rolled her eyes and waved her off. "Anyway, it got me to thinking. With all the Slayers we have now, and god knows how many more dimensions out there, some of which probably need the help. I don't know…I just thought maybe we could make some kind of deal with the Powers, and send a Slayer out on a trial run to see what it's like."

Buffy looked at Faith blankly for a few minutes, before she finally let the sparkle of interest show in her eyes. "That's actually an excellent idea."

Rayann nodded as well. "Yah that's like genius or something."

Faith looked away embarrassed by Buffy and Rayann's compliment. She shrugged at them, but before they could say anything else to each other, a throat clearing had them shooting to their feet and whirling around to face a short, badly dressed demon.

Whistler smiled at the three girls before nodding. "Have to admit lady's you definitely got our attention."


	2. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: I'm very sorry for the long delay in posting this. I have been very ill for the past week. I would like to first thank all my reviewers, you guys are amazing. Secondly, I hope nobody minds that I made Buffy a bit bitter and angry. Its only temporary I promise, but you do have to admit she was dealt a pretty shitty hand. I do plan on redeeming her though and hope you will all follow along with me as I do. I hope you all enjoy this, and remember reviews help the muse work. Thanks again!

Special thanks to Spikelissa for her wonderful beta job.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Title and Lyrics belong to Jewel's 'Who Will Save Your Soul'

* * *

Chapter One

Who Will Save Your Soul

_So we pray to as many different Gods as there are flowers  
But we call religion our friend  
We're so worried about saving our souls  
Afraid that God will take His toll  
That we forget to begin_

Buffy lay on the bed in her motel room staring at the ceiling. She was pissed, beyond pissed actually. She was furious! She took a large drag of her cigarette, and watched entranced as the plume of smoke filled the small motel room. She smiled evilly at the thought of how pissed Sam was going to be when he got back. He thought she didn't know, didn't realize what the jackass was up too. Well, he was in for a rude awaking.

She didn't care anymore. It didn't even matter what Whistler said. She had no choice. Sam was walking a very dangerous path right now. If she didn't do something soon they were all screwed. Aggravating him with cigarette smoke though, was just a bonus. She actually didn't smoke that much, but right now pissing him off was the key. The Powers would just have to think she lost her temper and accidentally revealed who she was.

She was honestly very sick of all the cryptic shit. It was stupid. Beyond stupid actually, because she knew Sam would listen to her if he knew who she was. What sucked the most though was she knew why the Powers wanted to keep it from him. She understood the reason clearly. Sam was a liability for them, especially because of the company he kept. If it got out to this particular demon community exactly what she was, and where she was from, they would be on her like white on rice.

Buffy sighed in annoyance it was a lose-lose situation either way, which she was also just done with. If the demons of this world found out who she really was, so be it. She was sick and tired of waiting for the Powers to pull their proverbial heads out of their asses and release Dean Winchester from Hell. It was ridiculous. She had no idea what they were even waiting for, and she had to admit that even Whistler seemed annoyed at the whole situation.

The only thing she could even really get out of him was that the higher-being that had created this world had asked Whistler's bosses for a favor. Why? She had no idea. It just didn't make any sense at all. The Powers weren't really one for dishing out favors. In fact, Buffy knew that for certain, because she had all but begged them for Spike's return, but they had dismissed her, saying only, that they needed him.

What they needed him for, she had no clue. She wondered where he was, and if he was happy. She hoped he was. She had too many nightmares about the types of places he might be trapped in, but Buffy for once put her trust in the Powers. If they needed him, then maybe he was doing well wherever he was. Hell, maybe he had finally found someone who could actually love him the way he truly deserved. Not that Buffy didn't think she could love him like that now, in reality, she already did.

Buffy swallowed the lump in her throat that always came with memories of him. Even after five years, it still hurt like it was yesterday when she thought of him, and the only thing making her life bearable were the jobs she was doing for the Powers, and the fact that if he was needed, he might be making a difference wherever he was.

Her first mission had shown her first-hand what a difference she could make. They had sent her to a dimension called Telnarh, and though it qualified as a hellish dimension, it really hadn't seemed like one. It was the home-world of the Lister demons, or it had been until the Scourge had taken it over.

The Lister demons were a peaceful humanoid breed of demons, which had been driven from their homes and towns by the Scourge. A pure-bred army of demons who were hell-bent on killing anything with even an ounce of human blood in it. The devastation they had reaped on Telnarh had been catastrophic. Buffy still wasn't sure of the exact number of Listers that had been murdered, but it had to have been in the high thousands.

Buffy actually didn't need to do all that much though. The Scourge managed to do most of the work for her without even knowing it. The Listers had become hate filled and vengeful because of the terror that had been overshadowing them, and like anything backed into a corner, it has a tendency to lash out. All it had really taken was a few words of encouragement, and six months training the demons to fight, before she had an army of her own. After that, the only other thing she had needed to do was march her army to the capitol of Telnarh, and let the Listers reap havoc amongst their oppressors. When the last of the Scourge who hadn't been killed had fled, the Listers had tried to name Buffy their queen. It had been a nice thought. Really, it had, but Buffy wasn't much for royalty nowadays, and had graciously turned the position down.

What shocked Buffy though had been the response she'd gotten when she returned home. That one act made her incredibly famous in the demon community of her world and not in the respect-amongst-enemy's way either. It turned out that every demon in her world that wasn't a pure-bred, hated the Scourge just as much as the Listers, and because of that, some of the demons acted like she was fucking Paris Hilton. It was really kind of annoying too, especially because it was hard killing something when they were gushing about how amazing you were for killing off those evil bastards.

When she had first arrived home, she found tons of letters from demons, some of which she hadn't even realized existed. All the letters thanked her for what she had done to exterminate the Scourge. She was touched by the response in a way she'd never been before. The shock though truly set in, when she went to Lorne's club in Cleveland. Lorne insisted that she sing for him that night, and she agreed to it. After a few rounds of liquid courage she finally made her way to the stage.

Now Buffy _knew_ for a fact that she wasn't a great singer. She didn't think she was quite as bad as Cordelia, but she didn't think she was much better either. So when she had gotten a standing ovation from every demon in The Melting Pot, it had been one of the most surreal moments in her whole life. After awhile though, Buffy began to feel that ache, that emptiness in her heart again. That's when she asked for another mission, and so it had gone on like that for five years now. Buffy would go to some dimension and save the day, come home and find out she was even more famous than before. She would leave again though, when she felt that void tear open again. Amazingly enough, no one seemed angry with her for leaving, which was a surprise.

Giles had been on board from the start, especially when she had told him about her immortal status. Willow, who had felt all kinds of guilt when she found out what she had done, made Buffy all kinds of magical items for her journeys. Buffy wouldn't thank her. In fact, Buffy didn't really like speaking to Willow much anymore. Her presence just reminded Buffy of what had been stripped away, and that was something Buffy couldn't handle thinking about.

She didn't know if Xander cared at all. He was in Africa all the time now, helping train the Slayers down there. It hurt that he never even bothered to pick up a phone, but Buffy suspected that a big part of that had to do with his own guilt towards her.

Rayann had turned the position of Head Slayer down, and decided she was much better suited for Buffy's position in the school, and _Faith_…Well Faith, was still just Faith, but she was doing an amazing job with her girls in the school. Buffy really couldn't have been prouder of them.

Then of course there was Dawn, who had been the only one to voice any concern about Buffy leaving, luckily though her sister hadn't fought her on it, rather just accepted that this was the way it was.

She had grown up so much over the years, and that was even more frightening. Dawn was going to be graduating from the Watchers Council in a month. She was going to be one of the youngest Watchers ever to be put in complete control of a Slayer, or Slayers to be more specific. Buffy had promised to be at the Graduation too, but the way her mission was going…

She sure hoped someone did something soon, because she wasn't missing her sister's graduation for anybody. Even if she had to knock Sam Winchester unconscious, and drag him back to her dimension, she _so_ would. Though, now that she thought about it, that was a really good idea. Ruby wouldn't be able to even find him if she did that. _'Hmm…definitely putting that idea into open-in-case-of-crisis.'_

This dimension was much like her world, but at the same time, very different. Over the past five years, she had been sent to a number of places, but most of them had been hell dimensions. She'd only really been to one other parallel universe, and that one had been nothing like this. It had been beautiful, and untouched by man in a way that had taken her breath away. She had never seen a place so…

Buffy was jolted out of her thoughts by the sound of footsteps in the hallway. She dropped her cigarette butt into the empty beer bottle on the nightstand, and sat up. She pulled out the gun that she kept under her pillow, and pointed it at the door as she slowly slid off the bed. That was another thing that was different. Guns! Ugh! She hated guns, but being a Slayer; she learned she could definitely use them. It sucked that she had to though. Buffy hated guns in a way that only someone who had ever been shot before could hate them. Unfortunately, here, they were a necessity. There had defiantly been a few instances where if she hadn't had a gun, she would have needed to explain to Sam, who she was a lot sooner. And as funny as the look on his face would be when she woke up two hours after she had died. She didn't think he would be very happy to find out that way.

Buffy focused and let her Slayer senses stretch out as she assessed who was outside her door. It was two humans, none of which seemed to be any threat at all. Her eyes traveled quickly to the necklace she wore around her neck. The stone was dark. So whoever was at the door was harmless.

She made her way slowly and quietly across the room to her bag. She stopped short though when the two humans quickly walked away. A sigh passed through her lips, that was the last thing she needed right now were the cops coming to look for Sam. The last time that they had dealt with the cops it hadn't ended well. It was good to know that it wasn't only Slayers that had problems with the authorities.

Buffy froze when she felt a new presence coming to her door, and she couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine. Whoever was out there was powerful in a way that Buffy hadn't felt since Glory. She quickly looked down at the pedant around her neck, and realized it was still dark. _'That's strange; this thing usually works no matter what.' _

Willow explained to her that the stone read others intentions much like a mood ring read your moods. If the stone turned bright red, you are dealing with a bad guy. If it stayed dark, you may still be dealing with a bad guy, but his intentions at that moment may be good ones. This was how Buffy had known Ruby was no good from the get. The first time Buffy had ever been in her presence, the stone had glowed red. Of course Ruby was with another demon at the time, but the second time…Ruby had been alone, and the stone still glowed red. She was up to no good at the start. Buffy didn't know what her intentions were exactly, but it had something to do with manipulating Sam into using the powers he had received from the demon blood that was given to him as a baby.

She honestly didn't know what was wrong with him either. The demon who had given him his powers had also killed his mother. That should have been a sure sign that the power was evil, but Sam wasn't hearing it. He wasn't listening, and Buffy was already convinced that the power was somehow corrupting him.

She understood his reasoning for wanting to use the power. She truly did, and after everything he had been through, she didn't blame him one bit. If it had been Dawn, who was sent to Hell, Buffy knew she would have resorted to any method to get her sister back, but there was something off about the whole idea. Some niggling instinct that told her killing Lilith wasn't the answer. After all, how many people had she seen lose themselves to their own power because, they thought they were doing the right thing. How many of her friends had been corrupted by darkness at one time or another.

Sam may think he was doing the right thing, but he didn't have all the facts. Neither did she, for that matter, but she knew more than Sam did. She knew that the Powers were in an uproar over Dean's sentence in Hell. She knew that they were working closely with Powers of this world, trying to find a way to release him. She even knew what the nervous look in Whistler's eyes meant. This whole thing reeked of prophecy, and the fact that Ruby was the one pushing Sam in the direction of killing Lilith just reaffirmed her belief. There was something definitely wrong with the situation, and though she couldn't put her finger on it, she was determined to figure it out. When that day came, Ruby was as good as gone.

The only reason Buffy hadn't killed the bitch yet, was for Sam's benefit. She wanted proof that Ruby was manipulating him, that way Sam would trust her. It had already been hard enough trying to get him to trust her thus far. He was one paranoid jackass when he wanted to be, and with the Powers making her play secret-identity-girl, it wasn't helping matters much.

She reached into her bag and pulled out her silver dagger. It didn't feel like a shifter. She had already gone up against one of those before, and they were crafty as hell, but this thing was powerful in a way that made her skin crawl. That didn't mean she was taking any chances though. Buffy shoved a hand full of salt into her pocket and also grabbed a flask of holy water. The only thing left was iron, but she had magical iron bullets in her gun, courtesy of Willow, as well as salt rounds. So, she wasn't that worried.

As if on cue, she heard a key slid into the lock of her motel room, Buffy quickly shoved her back against the wall next to the door, trying to appear as invisible as possible. When the big hulking form of Sam stepped into the room, Buffy's eyes widened in surprise,_ 'What the hell!' _She schooled her features as best as she could, but she couldn't hide the rage that was now building in her chest. They actually thought they could trick her, by pretending to be Sam.

"Oh, what the hell!" Sam bellowed, when he stepped into his motel room and smelt cigarette smoke. He knew Buffy smoked sometimes, but she had never smoked in their room before. Sam stiffened though, when he heard the sound of a gun being cocked from behind him.

"Don't move." Buffy growled angrily.

"Buffy!" Sam squeaked.

"Let me see your hands!" Buffy demanded, watching as Sam slowly raised his hands. She ignored his frightened reply, before demanding, "Turn around!"

Sam slowly turned around, not knowing what to think. "Buffy, why…"

"Don't act like him!" She whispered fiercely. "Don't even try to pretend with me." She pushed forward her eyes narrowing. An ironic laugh spilled from her lips, before she uttered the word, "Christo."

Sam looked at Buffy startled, _'Why would she think I'm a demon?'_

When nothing happened, Buffy blinked, before her eyes narrowed again. "Okay funny man, you have two choices right now. I can hand you this knife, and you can cut yourself to prove you aren't a shifter. Or, you can try to grab the knife from me. In which case I will break your arm, then shatter your knee cap, and cut you myself. It's up to you."

Sam immediately held out his hand, which also had Buffy's confidence waning. He took the knife without question. Sam slid his sleeve up and cut himself across his forearm. Buffy blinked when nothing happened. "Okay, what are you?"

"Buffy," Sam said slowly. "It's me. I swear."

Buffy shot forward and slammed Sam into the dresser on the wall behind him, discarding her gun in the process. Sam struggled against her hold, and looked at her shocked when he couldn't budge her. Buffy grinned evilly.

"You see, there are some things I haven't told Sam about myself." She snickered as if she were laughing at an inside joke. Her eyes flashed dangerously, and her grip on his arms tightened painfully. "Well, actually there's a lot he doesn't know about me, but the reason I know you're lying, the reason I can tell you're not him…"

She blinked innocently at him before her eyes turned cold again. "You see…I have this nifty little sixth sense…It likes to let me know when there's evil near." She got right in his face then, her breath wafting over his skin as she spoke through her clenched jaw. "And Sam Winchester may register as something slightly other than human on my radar, but he feels nothing like you."

For the first time since meeting her, Sam realized that Buffy Summers was not all that she seemed. He had known she was hiding something from the beginning, but she had saved his life on more than one occasion, and she was one hell of a hunter to have at your back, so he had let it go. Now he wasn't so sure that was such a good idea.

He tried to hide the guilt that flashed across his features when he realized what she must be feeling. He'd taken a lot of demon blood last night, way more than usual. There had been one of Lilith's generals in the town over, and he had needed answers. The demon was strong though. Too strong, and Sam needed more blood to finish the interrogation.

Buffy saw the betrayal flash across Sam's face, followed by that look of guilt, and in that moment, she knew. The powers that she tried desperately to keep dormant in Sam Winchester were manifesting themselves somehow. That's what he was up to this whole time. He wasn't just sneaking out with Ruby to go after Lilith. She was changing him somehow. He was becoming a monster, and he didn't even realize it.

She let Sam go and stepped back as if burned, her eyes widened in realization. '_What I'm feeling…Oh god…this…it is Sam!'_

Anger and hopelessness swelled in her chest, and before she realized what she was doing, she was screaming at Sam at the top of her lungs. "What the fuck did you do?"

Buffy slammed her fist into the wall next to Sam's shoulder. It was the only way to stop herself from beating the hell out of him. She couldn't believe this. She was failing her mission, and if there was one thing she hated more than anything else, it was failing. Especially because she was beginning to feel that this world was heading straight for an Apocalypse, and the Winchester brothers were right in the middle of it.

"What did you let that demon bitch do to you?" Buffy snarled. "Is that's what you've been doing, sneaking off and letting Ruby change you into a demon!" She was shaking in rage and so close to snapping completely that Sam actually shrunk back in fear.

Sam never saw that kind of anger on anyone's face before, not even his own. He found himself unable to look away. "Buffy…I-I swear it's not…"

"If you even try to tell me it's not what I think! So help me Sam, I will rip off your arms, and beat you to death with them!" She tore her fist from the wall, flexing it a few times before crossing her arms over her chest. She waited for him to say something else, her posture ridged as she glared daggers at him, but he wasn't looking at her anymore. His eyes were riveted on something behind her.

She turned around slowly following his line of sight. She was struck immediately by the younger man standing at her motel room door. He was much shorter than Sam, but there was something about him that struck a cord with her. Maybe it was that twisted look of betrayal, she saw written all over his face as he stared at Sam. It was the look she always pictured Spike wearing if she ever saw him again. Or, maybe it was the look in his eyes, the one that held so much guilt. That too reminded her of Spike. He had that same look in the basement of the school after he had gotten his soul.

Dean stood with Bobby in the doorway of his brother's motel room, and didn't know what to think. At first glance, he would have thought the girl was Ruby, but he had been listening to what she was saying the whole time. This girl was beyond pissed at his brother for even being around Ruby. He had no idea who she was, but he was thankful and grateful that she seemed to be trying to look out for his little brother.

He couldn't help the emotion that filled him at seeing Sammy again, but what this girl was saying…Well, it fell right in there with why he was back, didn't it. Why less than twenty-four hours ago, he had to dig himself out of a shallow grave. If Sam had done something as stupid as making a deal to become a demon…Dean just couldn't live with himself if that were true. All the guilt and remorse he was feeling right now. That would be the last straw. The one that finally broke him completely.

When the girl turned around and met his eyes, his breath was sucked from his chest. He had slept with a lot of beautiful women throughout his life, more than even he liked to admit, but there was something about this girl that hit a cord. Something that screamed she was here for him and him alone.

She wasn't the most gorgeous girl whom he had ever seen, but _god_ those eyes. They were the _most _hauntingly beautiful eyes that he'd ever seen. Like she had seen way too much in her short life, but there was also a strength and intelligence in them that rocked him to his foundation. They looked as if they could see straight into his soul. That what he had been forced to do down in Hell didn't matter, because he was already forgiven in her eyes.

Dean didn't want forgiveness though. What he really wanted to know was what in the hell was going on. People didn't just come back from Hell. Those contracts were damn near unbreakable. So either Sammy made a deal, or something really nasty wanted him out of Hell. Either way the odds weren't good. He just really hoped that what this girl was saying wasn't true.

Sam couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight of his brother. All he had wanted was for Dean to be back and safe, but this couldn't be real. Dean was dead. Sam buried him himself. This had to be a trick, it had to be.

Sam gripped the silver dagger as anguish and rage filled him. He wasn't falling for this thing's trick; he wasn't going to be duped. Before he even realized his feet were moving he was charging at his brother, but before he reached him. He found himself pinned against the wall once more by the small blonde he had been hunting with for three months.

"What are you doing?" Sam snarled as he struggled in Buffy's solid grip once more. There was a look of sympathy and understanding in her eyes as she held him tightly. It took a few moments, but the words she was saying finally registered after the red haze in his eyes began to clear.

"It's him Sam. I promise." Buffy loosened her grip when she had his full attention. "I would be able to feel it if it wasn't."

Sam's eyes slowly turned back to Dean's, and he couldn't hold back his emotions any longer. Tears swelled and spilt down his cheeks, as the reality of what was going on finally settled in his brain.

"Dean." Sam whispered, his throat clogging with tears before he began to move towards him. This time Buffy didn't try to stop Sam. He approached Dean slowly before reaching out to pull him into an embrace. He stopped short though when Dean flinched.

"Dean?" He whispered again, this time warily.

"Hey ya Sammy." Dean said just as softly. It took a few seconds, but he finally stepped forward and accepted his brothers embrace.

Bobby watched from the sidelines, emotion swarming in his eyes. His two boys were finally back together. His eyes slowly moved to the unknown women's and when he saw the tears in her eyes as well, he knew for sure she wasn't evil.

Buffy sighed in relief, and her eyes traveled to the heavens. Even with the emotion of seeing a family reunited, she couldn't help cursing the Powers. "Well it took you assholes long enough didn't it!" Buffy yelled at the ceiling.

"Don't you think it would have been in Sam's best interest if you had stormed the castle a bit sooner?" Seeing Dean the way he was, especially that flinch when Sam tried to hug him. It just reminded her of what it had been like to come back from heaven. A strong protectiveness swelled in her chest for the man. After all he had only been trying to protect his little brother. She shook her fist at the ceiling and shouted. "Maybe, I don't know. The moment Dean got sent there!"

She crossed her arms and started tapping her foot. "Whistler perhaps now would be a good time to show your face and explain in great detail what the fuck is going on!"

Sam and Dean looked at Buffy warily, as they were torn out of there brotherly moment. They didn't know why she was so pissed, but for the first time Sam got a glimpse of why she had insisted on staying at his side. For a while now, Sam had thought it was an attraction to him, but he now realized she had been waiting for this moment. Maybe she had known Dean was coming back the whole time.

She felt the energy change in the room, before a light bulb exploded on the nightstand. She was overwhelmed by a powerful presence, and she moved protectively in front of the elder man and the Winchesters when a man who was definitely not Whistler appeared in the room. He was dark haired, wearing a business suit and overcoat.

"Who the hell are you?" She demanded.

"I am sorry Buffy, but Whistler is not allowed to enter this realm. I am you're…" He seemed to contemplate the right word, before he said in an emotionless monotone voice, "You could call me your liaison to your world's Powers, as I believe you call them."

Dean, Bobby, and Sam stood there looking at the man in shock and fear as they listened to their conversation. They would have pushed for more information, but Buffy seemed to be doing a good job on her own.

Buffy's eyes narrowed. "Yeah and how do I know you're telling the truth? It's not like Whistler can confirm what you just said."

"Do you, like Dean, not have faith?" He said emotionlessly.

Dean couldn't hold his tongue any longer after that. "Who the hell are you? How the fuck do you even know me?"

The man turned and stared at Dean emotionless before he finally said, "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."

"Yeah, thanks for that." Dean said gruffly, not knowing whether he meant it or not.

The man's eyes turned back to Buffy's as he said. "I am an angel of the Lord. My name is Castiel."

The silence that followed that statement was deafening. Bobby thought he had heard it all, but this was the exception. Sam looked in awe as if he was about to start kneeling and praying, and Dean was two seconds away from tearing into this son of a bitch, when the little blonde firecracker beat him to the punch, literally.

"Bullshit!" She yelled as she launched herself at him. Her fist connected with Castiel's jaw, and a horrible crunching noise sounded through the air. She reeled back and whimpered, cradling her broken hand and wrist. Her eyes widened in fear, and she then tried to connect her foot with his groin, but this time, she didn't dare to kick him with all her strength.

When she hit him dead on, and it hurt her more than it hurt him. She thought maybe he might be telling the truth. Even Glory could be hurt a little. Buffy stepped back, limping for a second, as she narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, well you can tell the Lord, he's an asshole."

"I do not understand. Are you not the warrior for humanity?" Castiel asked confused. It was the first time he had shown emotion at all. "Are you not Buffy Summers, the Immortal Slayer?"

Mentioning her immortality was never a wise choice, but Buffy's right hand was throbbing, and she wouldn't be any good to anyone if she broke another bone. _'Dammit, I should have grabbed the Scythe from my bag.' _

She edged towards her duffle, noting with some relief that Castiel did not seem to be concerned. She glanced down at the stone around her neck for the first time since Sam had arrived. She frowned to herself when she realized the stone remained dark.

"Say I believe you." Buffy said, meeting Sam's eyes and trying to convey her intentions without speaking, as she inconspicuously scooted her bag next to him with her foot.

Sam tilted his head in understanding, knowing exactly what Buffy wanted. He had seen firsthand what that weapon of hers could do. If this thing was a demon, it didn't stand a chance against it, and as much as Sam did believe in God, wrapping his head around the fact that this thing truly was an angel, was going to take some time. In reality, he needed proof just as much as the rest of the other's in the room did.

Buffy turned back to Castiel, hoping he hadn't seen her actions. If he had, he didn't show it. "Say I believe that you're really an angel, and that God exists. Why does he need Dean?" She looked at Dean apologizing with her eyes. "And if he does need Dean so badly, why did he let him go to Hell to begin with?"

Castiel's eyes moved to Dean's. "You do not believe that he deserves saving?"

Dean flinched at Castiel's words. It was true, that's exactly how Dean felt. After what he had done, he was no different than the monsters he hunted. He didn't deserve his freedom, he didn't deserve anything.

"I never said that!" Buffy answered. "I'm only asking why he's so important, and not just to this world, but to mine as well?"

She felt three sets of eyes boring into her back at that statement, but she didn't turn around. She knew there was going to be a million questions later, but at least she didn't have to pretend when she didn't understand something now. Buffy wondered how angry Sam was with her, but he couldn't fault her for following orders.

Castiel looked at Buffy a long time before he looked away. The vampire was right, she was stubborn. He could tell by the expression on her face. She wasn't budging until he answered her.

"Lilith is trying to release Lucifer from his cage." He stated simply.

"What!" Four voices said in unison.

"If he were to get out, he would begin the Apocalypse, and his ambitions do not just lie with this world. Lucifer wants to eradicate all of humanity."

Buffy's eyes widened when she realized how serious this was. "So if he were to get out…"

"Every world with a human population would be in danger." Castiel finished for her.

She faltered in her belief that he was lying, and had to make her way over to the bed and sit down. Sam followed, trying to hide the Scythe behind his back. He tried to hand it to her, but she shook her head. She didn't need any more proof. Castiel was telling the truth. Whistler had been way more hush-hush than usual, and his nervous stuttering about how wound up the Powers were. It all made a lot of sense now.

Bobby stood there silently for a few moments before he finally said. "You ain't lying are you?

Castiel looked at Bobby and said. "Lying is a sin."

"You still haven't answered her question." Dean said finally speaking up. "Why do you need me?"

Castiel eyes then turned to Dean's. "Because God commanded it, because we have work for you."And then he vanished, with only the sound of fluttering wings.

Buffy turned to the three men and smiled. "Okay, that guy really needs to work on his people skills."


	3. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Sorry for the long delay. I have been dealing with so much bullshit at work that it has drastically reduced my creative inspiration. If it helps I think about every story I'm writing every day, and I do plan on finishing all of them. I've been dealing with this stuff for about a year, and that's right around the time my writing slowed down. I'm sorry for that, and I really don't know when it will change, but I will try to get as much writing done when I have the motivation. Please try to bare with me, and know I do appreciate all of your wonderful reviews. Thank you all and I hope this does not discourage you from reading.

Please review and let me know if your still with me.

Special thanks to Spikelissa for her wonderful beta job.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Title and Lyrics belong to Puddle of Mudd's 'Blurry'

* * *

Chapter Two

Blurry

_Everyone is changing  
There's no one left that's real  
To make up your own ending  
And let me know just how you feel  
'Cause I am lost without you  
I cannot live at all  
My whole world surrounds you  
I stumble then I crawl_

After Castiel left, all eyes turned on Buffy. She looked up at the three men staring at her and after what she thought was an amusing reply, she sighed when all she got in return was blank stares.

"Look I know you all have questions for me, but do you think that can wait for just a few more minutes?" She paused, holding out her already healing hand, and grimaced at the crooked way her wrist was bent. "If I don't re-break my wrist and wrap it, I'm not going to be any help to you for a little while."

Bobby walked over and crouched in front of her. "Let me see it."

Buffy held out her wrist to the elderly man, and he whistled. "Well I'll be. Never seen something like this in all my years, and trust me little lady, I've seen a lot."

"What is it?" Dean asked, as he came and stood next to Bobby.

"She's right. Her hand needs re-breaking all right. The bone, it's almost healed." Bobby said indicating the break with his finger.

They both looked at Buffy for answers, but Dean was the one who spoke. "How?"

Buffy rolled her eyes, before they wandered over to Sam. He was sitting with his back to them on the other bed, but she could tell that he was listening. She sighed; this was bad. He was really pissed.

"I'm immortal." Buffy said keeping her eyes on Sam. "I'm also known as a Slayer in my world. I'm a demon hunter like you…only of the Chosen variety."

She looked back at the other two men. "Now do you think one of you could get me an ace bandage, and something to use as a splint? There should be everything you need in my bag."

Dean stood up and moved to the bag she was talking about. He unzipped the leather duffel bag, keeping his eye on Bobby the whole time. His eyes strayed to her bag, and he held his breath at the medieval arsenal that greeted him. "Holly shit! Where'd you get all this?"

Dean had never seen so many swords and…was that a stake? '_What the hell? Who was this girl?'_

He spotted a metal box labeled first aid, underneath a wicked looking axe. He lifted the offending object off the box, and yanked it out. Underneath that he spotted a few pieces of wood that looked like they'd make a good splint, so he pulled one out. Dean made his way back to Buffy as she watched him in amusement.

"Thanks. Now, yank, and twist to the right." Buffy said holding out her crooked wrist.

Dean stared at her dainty, abnormally jagged wrist, and grimaced. He didn't want to re-break this girl's wrist, especially because she had so obviously been looking out for Sammy this whole time.

That's what he tried telling himself at least. The truth was though, he didn't want to cause pain to _anyone_ in _any way_, ever again, and he hoped that the sickness in his stomach would pass. Bile rose to the back of his throat at the memory of Hell. So many souls he tortured, so many people. _'God…those screams still ring like a friggin bell in my head.' _

"I don't think I can." He whispered instead.

Buffy looked at Dean and saw the guilt and regret that he had written all over his features, and immediately regretted asking. She tried to play it off to his benefit as best she could. So, she pouted, and looked at the older gentleman. "Oh, what a big baby, he doesn't want to hurt little old me. You'll re-break my wrist, won't you?"

Bobby rolled his eyes and couldn't help the smile that quirked his lips. He imagined that lip of hers got her everywhere with most men, but Bobby Singer was no fool. She may not be evil, but that didn't mean he trusted her, and though he would fix her wrist so that he could hear her whole explanation. So far, he wasn't buying it.

Bobby, however, didn't know what Dean's problem is right now, and his eyes strayed warily to him for a second. The boy had never been squeamish about broken bones before, and not for the first time; Bobby wondered if Dean had lied about remembering Hell.

He met the mystery girl's eyes and gently wrapped his left hand right above the break, before he grabbed on to her hand with his right, and did exactly like she instructed. She cried out and whimpered, biting on her bottom lip, but that was the only response besides a, "Thanks," grunted under her breath.

After she had wrapped her wrist like a professional, she looked at them all and said in a monotone emotionless voice, much like the angel they had just dealt with. "Into every generation a Slayer is born, that's how this started for me…"

Buffy decided to tell them everything. Hoping that they would realize that it would be impossible for someone to make up such an outrageous story. Plus, she had also felt guilty for keeping who she was from Sam this whole time. She was leaving out her and Spike's relationship though, that was private. But she told them about Angel. Unashamed that she had been so careless at such a young age. She had been very impressionable back then, and there are hundreds of girls who could have made the same mistakes. She wasn't ashamed of her past, no matter how much she _did_ regret it.

After all, she had learned from her mistakes _hadn't_ she? So much so, that she had tried to keep the one person who really mattered at arm's length the whole time she knew him. That evil bitterness she felt all the time now washed into her mouth as she spoke.

She tried to cover it up when she talked about Faith and the Mayor, and even when she told them about the Initiative and Riley, but when she spoke of their breakup, she couldn't cover it up anymore. It was hard reliving this stuff, especially with total strangers, but she had learned in the past sometimes that's what you needed to do.

When it got to the point where she began to tell them about Glory and her sister, she almost froze completely. She had never been good at the talking thing, and part of her wished she didn't have to say anything at all.

"I fought, what I like to refer to as, The-Crazy-Hell-Bitch, and though I defeated her…" She looked at Dean then with understanding in her eyes.

"It was too late. My sister, you see, wasn't always my sister. She was a mystical key thingy, that could tear into every dimension with a drop of her blood, and the ritual had already begun."

Buffy closed her eyes then, letting the memory of that fateful day overtake her. "I could feel the energy pulsating as I watched my world begin to get torn into pieces. The crackling sound it made, as it ripped at the fabric of my reality, was unbelievably loud. My sister tried to push past me, but I stopped her. She was going to jump off the tower we were standing on. She was going to stop the portal herself."

Buffy paused and took a deep breath. "It was all about her blood. The portal wouldn't close until her blood stopped flowing, and that's when I figured it out!" She opened her eyes, meeting the eyes of everyone in the room and letting the emotion and knowledge of that day flow into them.

"It wasn't only her blood that could seal the rift; it was mine too. The monks, who had created her and sent her to me, had made her out of me. _We_ had the same blood, and death was my gift. It was my gift to her. I die, save her life, and in the process, I save the world. I had no problem with that, and I knew my death would save everyone. So, I jumped."

She paused then swallowing down the emotions that the memory was evoking. "I felt my body die from the energy that surrounded me, and the next thing I knew…I-I wasn't in pain anymore. I felt…I can't describe it exactly, but I knew I was done. I had done my job and all my worries for everyone, washed away. The warmth I felt…the peace. It was nothing I have ever experienced before, and probably never will again.

I was dead three months when my best friend, who is a very powerful Witch, decided to resurrect me." She looked at the men staring at her in awe and smiled to herself. '_Thank god'_, even Sam decided to give her his full attention now.

"When she brought me back, she made a little mistake in the translation. She called me _the _warrior of the people, not _a_ warrior of the people. Apparently, the _the _made a difference. It's singular. As if I'm _the_ only one. Anyway, that little fuck up made me _it_, made me the only one. I'm immortal because of a wrong word spoken in a spell.

We didn't know it right away of course. In fact, it took me almost two years to figure it out. Even when we were fighting the First…"

"The First?" Dean questioned.

"The First Evil. I don't really know if it was the _true_ First, especially since my whole theory on it being the _true_ Lucifer just got blown out of the water. But if I were to guess, maybe it was the one who corrupted the angel itself. I'm not really familiar with the Bible, or Hell, or even God, for that matter, but I know how it worked in my world. I know that the demons there came first, and I know that the Powers created them."

Buffy shook her head, they were getting off topic. "Anyway, I was immortalized by the spell. It actually gets worse though…"

This was hard. Saying this to strangers was worse. It was funny, in a not so funny way, how much easier it had been telling Spike. He had been her mortal enemy after all. He could have used that information to hurt her in a number of ways, and even though at the time she was still aware of his love for her. Voicing what was taken from her should have been difficult. With him though, it never was. Maybe she was even in love with him back then, but was too broken to actually feel it.

"When Willow brought me back, she thought she was doing the right thing. She thought I was in Hell, but as I've already hinted at, I wasn't." She looked at them then, her eyes brimming with tears that she tried to stamp down. "I was at peace… I-I was in Heaven, and when I came back, it really was like being in Hell."

Sam finally stood and came and sat down next to her, putting his arm around her, as Bobby and Dean watched him in fascination. Normally, both Bobby and Dean would have been calling this girl a liar demanding all sorts of proof. However, what they had walked in on, gave them pause to demand said proof.

This girl didn't seem to be manipulative like Ruby, and the fact that she clearly didn't trust the demon bitch, was giving her major brownie points in their book. Well, that and the fact that an angel, of all things insane, seemed to know who this girl was.

Sam watched as Buffy wiped the tears from her eyes, before asking, "Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

Buffy sniffled miserably, as she leaned against his shoulder. "I wasn't supposed to. The Powers or Gods who run my world don't trust you."

Buffy then whispered so low only he could hear it. "And they were right, weren't they?"

Sam stiffened but didn't respond. He didn't know what to think, or who to believe now. He really trusted Ruby though. He saved so many lives because of his power. How in the world could he be doing something wrong? "So why are you telling me now?"

Buffy's eyes met Dean's and she smiled gently at him, "Because my orders were not to tell you, _unless_ Dean was released from Hell. They don't trust you without him around. They think you are easily corrupted, and that your brother is the only one who keeps you grounded."

Buffy's head then turned, and she studied the indignation on Sam's face. His whole body had gone rigged at her simple explanation, and she couldn't help the regret she felt for being the one to cause it. She silently cursed the Powers for their foresight, wishing they didn't get to be right all the time. She liked Sam when he wasn't being a jackass, they had gotten close hunting together, and she hated that their friendship might be ruined because of this.

"You know," Sam ground out, as he stood tearing himself away from Buffy. "If you had just told me everything in the beginning, I might not have started working with Ruby in the first place."

It was Buffy's turn to look indignant, as she stood and crossed her arms. _Okay so this was one of his jackass moments_. "Maybe," She countered, "But do you want to hear what I think would have happened?"

Sam just glared at her, and that's when she remembered her audience. Her eyes strayed to Dean's who was glaring at his brother with such fury. If his eyes had been daggers, Sam would be dead. The older man, however, just looked very worried. His eyes kept moving to Dean's, and she watched as he laid his hand on Dean's arm in an attempt to restrain him.

He whispered something to Dean that sounded like, "Let them hash this out, and then you can beat the tar out of him." Dean nodded curtly and met Buffy's eyes; his expression softened some, and he tilted his head for her to go ahead.

Buffy's anger deflated a bit, and she met Sam's glaring gaze again. Her next words were much calmer than they would have been otherwise. "I think you would have told Ruby about me."

Sam sputtered at that, and Buffy held up her hand to forestall any reply. "I think that you wouldn't have believed my story at all. When she started popping up again, you would have tried to find out if I was telling the truth. I think she would have lied to you then. Probably, something like my story was impossible; there's no way I'm telling the truth; and you would have believed her. Even after all the tests you put me through when we first met."

"That's not true!" Sam bellowed, but Buffy didn't even flinch.

"Isn't it?" She whispered, holding his gaze. "You've been so hell bent on vengeance these past few months that you haven't been able to see straight. You're gonna sit here, look me in the eye, and try to tell me that if I had told you my whole story at the beginning, you wouldn't have assumed that I was some kind of nut-job, or worse, that I was working with Lilith." Buffy shook her head in exasperation. "All you've thought about was killing her, anything to take her down, and Ruby's been right there at the sidelines egging you on and whispering in your ear. But the worst part is you don't even realize what else she's making you do."

Buffy's eyes filled with pain then as she remembered the promise that had been made to her by her mortal enemy. The promise that he had kept by taking care of Dawn the summer she had been gone. The memory was so thick she could almost reach out and touch it.

_Buffy saw Spike in her living room back in Sunnydale. He was talking about the weapons they needed to hold off Glory's minions._

"_We're not all gonna make it. You know that." She said voicing her worst fears. What was it about Spike that always made her want to open up to him when they were alone? It hadn't always been that way, but lately it has become a far too common occurrence._

"_Yeah." He answered quietly, gathering a few more weapons and then walking towards her. He smiled gently then, one of almost resignation, like he already knew his fate. _

"_Hey! Always knew I'd go down fighting."_

"_I'm counting on you…to protect her." Buffy said, hoping her trust was well placed. She knew she was using his feelings for her, but she also really did count on him right now. The counting on him lately has also become a far too common occurrence._

"_Until the end of the world," He swore, without hesitation. "Even if that happens to be tonight."_

_It was then that Buffy knew she could trust him. It was then that she knew she had made the right decision, and a part of her, fell a little bit in love with him._

She was pulled out of her memory by Sam's snarled. "What have I done?"

Buffy looked at him sadly for long moments, finally replying. "You broke your promise to Dean."

"She killed my brother!" Sam yelled.

At that moment, Dean completely snapped. He strode forward with purpose, grabbing hold of Sam and turning him around to face him. "Well I'm alive now!"

Dean hit Sam once, and then grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "What is she making you do, Sam? How are you using your powers?"

Sam's eyes widened at the look on Dean's face. He was pissed! Sam swallowed hard and held up his hands. "Let me explain!"

The punch came again, but this time it wasn't a surprise. Sam grabbed the fist in midair; he grabbed it without even realizing it. Courtesy of the demon blood still pumping through his veins, his reflexes were heightened.

Dean's eyes widened in disbelief, Sam had never been able to do that before! His eyes then narrowed in suspicion. What the hell had been going on while he was gone? He stepped back and shook his head at Sam, anger and disgust written all over his features. "How could you Sam? After everything I said about not letting them use me as your weakness."

Guilt shown on Sam's face, and he shook his head sadly as he looked at his brother's hurt and angry expression. "You don't understand Dean. Ruby and I, we're exercising demons. We're saving people's lives."

"Yeah!" Dean growled. "Then why do you have the same look on your face, as the time I caught you trying to sneak out of the motel room to see that Stephanie chick."

"Come on man, what was I supposed to do? You were gone. I had no one!" Sam exclaimed angrily.

"That's a bunch of bullshit, and you know it!" Dean shouted back. "You had her," He pointed at the fiery blonde. "Who, apparently was sent to help you," He then pointed at Bobby, "And you had Bobby! Who is the closest person to you as family! Why you chose Ruby over them, I'll never understand."

Sam knew it was a weak excuse, even before he said it, but the words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them. "I knew she was hiding something."

Dean looked at Sam in disbelief, his head shaking from side to side. "Un-fucking-believable! You know what Sam. I'm done. Go exorcise demons with Ruby for all I care. You obviously can't listen to reason anymore," And with that Dean turned around, and marched out of Sam's motel room, slamming the door so hard they were lucky the doorframe didn't splinter.

Bobby stood there staring at Sam in annoyance. "Boy! For as much book smarts as you got, you really can be an idget sometimes."

Neither man noticed Buffy slip out the door.

* * *

Buffy walked out to the parking lot, not surprised when Dean was nowhere in sight, she patted her pockets; thankful she had her car keys. As she headed for her Desoto, she unwrapped her hand, flexing her fingers, and twirling her wrist to make sure the bone already healed. Most of the time, she hated the quickness in which she healed, but on occasions like this, when she really needed it. She was grateful.

Buffy slid into the driver's seat and started the engine, smiling when it roared to life. She loved the familiar hum vibrating against her finger tips. It was like an old reliable friend, always there when she needed it.

She had decided to buy the car shortly after Spike's second death. It was in a junk yard on the out skirts of Cleveland, and she had just saved the owner from a Grimslaw demon.

Seeing the old rust bucket hidden in the back of the yard, she had immediately made an offer on it. The man, being as grateful as he was to still be alive, had given it to her for free.

Buffy ended up spending a pretty penny to get the car restored, but it had been worth it. Spike had once told her he loved this car, and Buffy had nothing of his left to remember him by. Except maybe the money he left for her and Dawn. It seemed only fair to spend a small portion of it on something that would always remind her of him.

As she pulled out of her parking spot and then exited the parking lot, she spotted Dean walking up the road a few blocks ahead of her. She hoped he was a little more trusting than Sam was, as she slowed down and pulled up alongside him. Buffy leaned across the seat, and rolled down the passenger window. "Need a ride?"

Dean eyed her warily. Something inside of him said he could trust her, but he couldn't help his cautious attitude. He wondered about her car too. It looked old and enormous compared to her. Though, the restoration was definitely recent. "You're not exactly driving a chick car, are you? What is that a fifty-nine?"

Buffy snorted. "Yeah." She shrugged, saying. "A friend of mine used to have one just like it. I got it for its sentimental value, even had it restored to look like his." Buffy patted the steering wheel affectionately and smiled, adding. "Plus I needed something when I go on these types of missions. It's an easy way to dimension hop."

Dean just stared at her as she rolled her eyes. "Look, I get you not trusting me, more than you could ever know, but do you think we can just stop with the wary-eyeball."

She reached over and pulled out the gun she had in her glove box, handing it to Dean, butt first. "Here! As much as I hate guns being pointed at me. I'll allow you to do it this once, if it helps you trust me." She paused, sighing. "All I want is some food, and a quiet place we can talk."

Dean took hold of the gun, checking to see if it was loaded as he eyed her suspiciously. Satisfied, with his discovery, he opened the car door and slid into the passenger's seat, flipping the safety off. "I thought I couldn't kill you?"

Buffy looked at him and nodded, as she pulled the car away from the curb. "Oh, you can't, but a gun can still put me down for a couple of days. And if it's a head shot, it takes even longer."

Satisfied with her response Dean nodded, watching her as she drove.

"Hey, how about some tunes!" Buffy said trying to lighten the mood, as she flipped her radio on. She watched Dean flinch slightly at her sudden movement, reminding her of what it was like to come back from heaven.

Dean cringed and looked at Buffy in horror when some pop-hit he didn't recognize came on. She bit her lip trying to suppress her laughter, as she quickly changed the channel. Hoping the rock station she found was up to his standards. Normally, she would have made him suffer through her stuff, but she figured the poor guy probably had been tortured enough for one lifetime.

They drove in awkward silence for awhile, until Buffy pulled into an old rundown grill. "So I was thinking, burgers?"

Dean was silent for a minute. Part of him was still trying to figure this girl out. The things she had said sounded almost impossible, but amazingly enough he found himself believing her. He didn't know why that was, and he wondered if part of himself only _wanted_ to believe her.

He knew that wasn't true though, because he couldn't really feel anything right now. Even with Sam. If this had been a normal day, Dean would have beaten the shit out of his brother, especially after what he had heard. However, a part of him didn't even care. A very big part of him was willing to let Sam fall. Coming home to this was not what he had been expecting.

"Yeah," He whispered, trying to give her a sincere smile. "Burgers sound great."

Buffy studied his stiff position and forced smile. She felt bad for him, knowing firsthand what it was like to come back from the dead. She wished there was something she could do to help him, but she knew that only time would help him heal…Time, and someone to be there to listen when he was ready to talk about it.

She slid out of the car turning around to acknowledge Dean again. "What kind of burger do you want?"

He didn't seem to hear her at first, and she was just about to ask again, when he responded. "A bacon cheese burger."

Buffy nodded, saying only, "I'll be right back."

He watched her go, replaying the events of the day in his head. He couldn't believe Sam. After everything he had asked of the kid, everything he had tried to warn him about. He couldn't believe Sam would disregard him so easily. Though, at the same time he knew Sam would have done anything to get him out of Hell. He wondered briefly if that's what Ruby had been using to get Sam to use his power. It didn't sound like it though. Buffy had said more than once that Sam was focused on vengeance, and on killing Lilith.

Dean wondered how long it took for Sam to give in to his dark-side, how much of a fight he really put up. He hated thinking in those kinds of terms, but part of Dean was terrified that his brother really was going to become a monster.

He loved Sam; he knew. Even if it wasn't the easiest thing to feel right now, and he was scared to death, that his dad was right. That he might actually have to kill Sam one day, and he already knew that was something he would never be able to do.

He just hoped Buffy was really on his side. He really did want to believe her. Those eyes of hers had a way of making you trust, even when it wasn't in his nature. He decided then and there that he would at least give her the chance to prove herself.

They needed all the allies they could get, especially if what that thing said was true. He still didn't want to believe that man had been an angel, but he doesn't have a lot of options right now. If what the creature said was true, and Lilith really was trying to release Lucifer. They would be royally screwed if she succeeded.

Buffy opened the car door, pulling Dean out of his musing. He looked over at her in surprise, realizing he hadn't even seen her coming. She tossed him the greasy paper bag and handed him a soda as she hopped in the car.

"Where are we going now?" Dean asked as she placed her soda between her thighs and started the engine.

She looked at him shyly out of the corner of her eye, as she quickly got them back on the road. "There's this great park, about a mile up the road." She shrugged, "Thought it would be a good place to have a conversation."

He studied her for a long minute, before shrugging. "Sounds like a plan."

Buffy got them there in no time. She pulled into the parking lot, and got out with her soda in hand. She walked over to an empty bench and set the soda on the table, as Dean followed with the bag of burgers and his own soda.

He set them down on the wooden table opening the bag. "Which one is yours?"

Buffy shrugged smiling. "Doesn't matter. They're both the same."

Dean looked at her surprised for a minute, before he shook his head. "I thought girls like you only eat salads and veggie burgers."

Buffy raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged sheepishly, running a hand over his hair. "You know."

"Actually I don't." Buffy said, biting the inside of her cheek to stifle the laughter at how uncomfortable he looked.

"Um…well…girls, who usually aren't over weight, are always trying to watch their figure." He answered lamely.

"Oh, so you think that all girls who are overweight don't then?" Buffy said, wondering how long it would take before Dean figured out she was messing with him.

He looked at her in horror for a minute, wondering how he had dug himself a hole so quickly. Normally, that came after he had slept with them. "I never said that."

It was then that he noticed her lips twitching in amusement. "Wait a minute. Are you fucking with me?"

"Yes," she said, as peals of laughter erupted from her mouth. She shook her head snickering as Dean glared at her. "Sorry, I couldn't resist."

When he said nothing, Buffy sighed. She peeled the wrapper off her burger taking a huge bite, and sitting down on the bench. When she finished chewing she shrugged her shoulders. "It's the one perk of being immortal. No pesky weight gain. My metabolism is too high."

"That must be nice." Dean said snidely, still a little perturbed by the fact that she had been messing with him.

Buffy's lips thinned, as she stared passed Dean and watch a mother pushing her daughter on the swing set. Longing filled her eyes as she watched the little girl laugh giddily when her mother gave her a hard push that sent her soaring.

She would never have that. She'd never get to know what it was like to have a child of her own, because she would never have a family, not if she had to watch them all die. It was hard enough knowing that she would be going through that with the people she loved back home, but to go through that with her own child was something she knew she couldn't do.

"No," Buffy whispered. "Actually, it really sucks."

Dean followed Buffy's line of sight, and felt like a douche when he saw what she was looking at. "Look," He sighed. "I'm sorry okay, but if you expect me to trust you, you need to start talking."

Buffy ate some more of her burger. After she finished chewing, she took a quick sip of her soda. "I didn't bring you out here to get you to trust me."

Dean's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What?"

Buffy shrugged taking another bite of her burger. "It's the truth. I can't convince you to trust me, and I wouldn't expect you to…" She paused taking another sip of soda. "And as helpful as it would be if you did immediately trust me, I think I would be really worried if you did."

Dean studied her, trying to gauge if she was lying. "So why did you bring me out here?"

Buffy looked at him, crumpling the wrapper in her hand and tossing it in the trash next to him. "Because I need your help."

"And why would I do that?" Dean asked. Preparing himself for the other shoe to drop.

"Because our interests are the same. You want Sam to stop using his power, and so do I." Buffy answered. "And I can't do that without you."

Dean's shoulders slumped at her words, and he put his head down. "How bad has he gotten?"

Buffy sat quietly for a moment, trying to pick the right words. "Dean, your brother isn't a bad person, and I know he's convinced himself he's doing the right thing…I just…I've seen firsthand what happens to people when they think they're doing the right thing by messing with the dark stuff. It never ends well."

"Yeah." Dean sighed "It's the same song I've been singing this whole time." He came and sat down next to her running a hand over his face. "I'm just so fucking exhausted." He sighed, "I don't know if I'm ready to deal with this shit right now."

Buffy nodded. "You're not, and the fact that you have to deal with this now totally sucks, but we don't have a choice."

Buffy paused and looked down at the stone around her neck, fingering it for a minute. "I know for sure that Ruby's up to no good, and I can prove it."

Dean looked at her surprised. "Why haven't you told Sam that already?"

"I wasn't supposed to tell Sam, who I was until you got back, remember? And the proof I have…there would have been _way_ too many questions. I couldn't risk it."

Dean supposed he couldn't really blame the girl if she was following orders. He understood that more than anyone. What he didn't understand though is why his family was so important. Why did this crap keep happening to them? "I don't get it? Why the hell are we so important?" Dean asked looking at her. "I mean why me, why save me."

Buffy studied him silently for a long time, not really knowing any other way than just to tell him. "I don't know, but usually when the higher-ups do something like this, it's because you're a champion."

Dean was startled by her reply, and had no words. This had to be some kind of a joke_. 'Me a champion, yeah right!'_

Buffy unclasped her necklace and handed it to Dean. "A friend of mine made me this before I started doing the dimension hopping gig. It glows red if a person or demon's intentions are bad, and whenever I'm in the room with Ruby it lights up like a Christmas tree… but you don't need to believe me. Keep it for yourself, and see if I'm lying."

"You really don't need to give me this." Dean said gruffly, trying to hand it back to her.

"Keep it, I have another." Buffy said shrugging. "I even have one for Sam, if he ever pulls his head out of his ass."

She sighed, running her hand over her hair, and freeing it from her clip. "I hate this you know… You shouldn't have had to come home to this. I should have been able to stop Ruby, before she got her claws in your brother. I should have just killed her."

Dean shook his head. "This isn't your fault. Sam can be a stubborn whiney bitch sometimes. If he's got it in his head that he's doing the right thing, it's even worse."

Buffy looked at Dean in surprise. "Does that mean you'll help me?"

Dean nodded. "I would have done it anyway; he's my brother. Can I ask you something though?"

"Shoot."

"Why do you do this? Help other worlds?" Dean asked.

Buffy bit her lip and looked away. "Because I lost someone I love, and home's not the same anymore." She stood and began to walk back towards the car. "Whenever you're ready to go back, let me know."


	4. Chapter 3

Author's Notes: I would like to take the time and thank everyone who reviewed. You guys are awesome. This next chapter has taken some lines directly from 'Metamorphosis' and some from 'Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean Winchester.' I am very exited about this chapter, and hope you all enjoy it as much as I loved writing it. Please leave me a review, and let me know what you think. Thanks again!

Special thanks to Spikelissa for her wonderful beta job.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Title and Lyrics belong to Avenged Sevenfold's 'Betrayed'

* * *

Chapter Three

Betrayed

_I started here so young and helped you get along  
Just did it for the love, and people healed through us  
Don't live your life in vain, don't take it out on me  
You're cracked, so just remember, I'm not your enemy  
I don't deserve to fall this way, by a man who felt betrayed_

_**Heaven:**_

Castiel sighed, when he felt the familiar presence behind him. For some reason the abomination had taken a liking to him, and now it seemed as if every time they were given orders, the infuriating creature had to dissect them piece by piece. He was constantly questioning, and that bothered Castiel, because it made him doubt everything they were doing.

Spike had been right in the past, after all. He had been right when he said that they shouldn't wait to pull Dean out of Hell. However, Zachariah had told him that it was God's will to allow the first seal to be broken.

Spike, however, didn't believe him, and the fact that Joshua had been the one to give Castiel the final order, made Spike convinced that Zachariah and Michael were up to no good. Well, that and the fact that God left Heaven right after that.

"So," Spike said, leaning against a stone wall, and studying the uptight angel. "We're supposed to sit this one out, right? Let the bloody pulsers take care of it. Yeah, big surprise that."

Castiel lowered his head, without turning around. "What would you have me do William? If this is God's will, I must obey."

"It's Spike. And how do you know this is God's will?" Spike countered. "He left, or have you forgotten?"

"My brothers would not lie about something like this. It would be blasphemous if they did. They would be no different than Lucifer." Castiel said, turning around slowly, and meeting the striking blue eyes of the demon with a bound human soul.

It aggravated Castiel to see such a horrid sight in Heaven. He could see past Spike's human visage, and straight into the demon himself. It was a twisted, vile, unnatural, looking creature, but at the same time, it was also beautiful.

The soul of the man Spike had once been illuminated the creature's figure, making it glow with light. The light itself was pure white, which made it clear that the man he had once been was pure of heart before he was turned.

This notion confounded Castiel. Demons in this realm were nothing more than corrupted human souls, and the monsters all had souls of their own. So, how could something like this be possible? Why didn't they separate in death?

He knew of other worlds. Heard whispers, of how his Father had helped Gaia banish the Demon Gods of her world, by granting her life into the form of humans. He had even heard tales of what kind of creatures existed there. But to have one in his domain was never something he thought he would see.

"And what if God isn't making the orders anymore? What if it's Michael's turn to rule?" Spike asked, hoping to get through to the winged-bastard. It had gone on like this for months now, and Spike was losing his patience. He had been sent here for a reason after all, and the sooner the angel's figured that out the better.

"Then I will follow my brother's rule." Castiel shot back, not liking where this was going. "I will not rebel against Heaven."

Spike sighed in frustration, running a hand through his hair. What was he supposed to do? God decreed that he come here. And now, he felt useless. No one would listen to him, especially not the Archangels, and the only one he felt comfortable talking to was Captain Trench Coat here. "Why was I brought here Cass? Why did God choose me, specifically?"

Castiel looked at the vampire blankly for a long while, wondering if this was a test. "Because God was impressed with your ability to retain your humanity, and you are held in close regard to the Slayer."

Spike snorted, rolling his eyes_. 'Of course, Buffy._ _It always had to do with Buffy_.' He loved her. He did, but he didn't come here to help her. He came here because he was asked. "Yeah, and if that was the only reason, you'd be talking to the sodding Poof right about now." He sighed at Castiel's blank look. "Me, being here, has very little to do with Buffy…"

"Yes it does." Castiel interrupted, walking up and invading Spike's personal space. "While Buffy was in Fólkvangr, you prayed to God every night. You begged for forgiveness for not being able to save her. You also prayed to him when you almost tried to…"

"What's your bleeding point?" Spike snarled, pushing the angel back, and cutting him off before he could voice the next part. Not only did angels have absolutely no concept of privacy, especially when it came to one of your less than scrupulous moments, but personal space was a completely foreign concept.

"That you are the first soulless creature from Gaia's dimension to pray to a Lord, who had otherwise forsaken him, and you did it for love. You did it for Buffy, and if you think that didn't get my Father's attention, you would bewrong."

Spike quickly looked away from the angel's penetrating gaze. He hated when Castiel did that. Spike didn't like being read. The bloody angel didn't need to know everything about him. "I'm just saying, Cass…God didn't ask me here to help Buffy. I'm a sodding spook. Even if I could get down there…I have no body. What possible way could I help?"

Castiel shook his head, not really knowing where the vampire was going with this. He had a good point though. He really couldn't help Buffy, even if he wanted to. So if that wasn't the reason, then why had God asked for the vampire, specifically?

"My point is," Spike sighed. "He doesn't want me here to help Buffy. He wants me here to help you…all of you."

"And why would we need help from a vampire with a soul?" Castiel said, even as the doubt he was feeling more and more came to the forefront of his mind.

Spike rolled his eyes at Cass's tone. They all thought that way. Like they were all so high and bleedin' mighty, and the human race was so bloody beneath them. It was infuriating. Spike had been treated better by the Scoobies when he first got his chip, than he had by these winged lack brains. "Maybe, because I understand the human race a hell of a lot better than you fairies do."

"I see," Castiel said, ignoring the barb. "And what exactly do you understand about humans that our Father hasn't already taught us."

Spike eyes narrowed. "How about the fact that I used to be a human," He said, pointing at himself. "Trust me when I say, we usually like to know when we're gonna get visited by the ghosts of Christmas bloody past." He paused running a hand over his hair. "People are about to start dying here Cass, and the Powers might be a pain in my arse, but they at least know enough to give their warriors a warning. You and your merry lot won't even do that."

Castiel felt his doubt grow at the vampire's words. What if Spike was right? What if this was a test and they were all making the wrong decisions. Just as these thoughts passed through his mind, Castiel noticed Spike suddenly become transparent, and a confused look came over the vampire's features. "What the bleeding hell?"

Realization dawned on Spike, and his face filled with horror as he looked at the angel. "Oh, you've got to be fu…" But before he could finish his sentence, his form blinked twice, and disappeared completely.

* * *

_**Pontiac, Illinois:**_

After Dean and Buffy left the park, she had taken him back to the motel room, only to find that Sam had already checked out. He had left them both a note and his car keys, saying that if they wanted to talk, he would be at Bobby's. Buffy sighed, hoping this was an olive branch of sorts as she handed Dean the keys as instructed.

Dean's eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas when he saw the familiar set of keys, and he quickly snatched them out of her hand, and ran at full speed out to the parking lot. She chuckled at his antics and followed him out just in time to hear him say. "Hey, sweetheart, did you miss me?"

Dean stroked the hood lovingly, and Buffy raised an eyebrow at him. "Wow, I thought I loved my car… do you two need a room?"

Dean looked up at her, and smirked. "Don't listen to her baby. She's just jealous hers isn't as pretty."

Buffy rolled her eyes, before heading towards her own car. "So I follow you?" Buffy asked, as she tossed her bag in the trunk, and walked around getting into the car.

Dean nodded, mirroring her move and sliding in the front seat of the impala. He closed his eyes, enjoying the familiar feel of her. He took a deep breath and smiled. She still smelt the same too, but when he opened his eyes and looked around they honed in on some girlie looking device hooked up to his stereo.

"What the hell! Sam!" He growled, tearing the offending thing out, and throwing it in the back seat.

* * *

_**Sioux Falls, South Dakota:**_

After the nine hour drive to Bobby's, both Buffy and Dean were pretty tired. Neither of them felt like having a showdown with Sam, and Dean really didn't know how he wanted to approach the situation. Honestly, he kind of wanted to just forgive and forget. So what if his brother was working with a demon? It wasn't as if Dean himself was an innocent. Hell, he had been Alastair's protégé.

He sighed to himself, knowing that he was only making excuses. The truth was he knew how dangerous it was for Sam to use his power. What it could mean for his brother if he lost himself to his darkness. Dean knew firsthand what that was like, and he didn't think Sam would be able to recover from something like that. _'This whole thing was just so completely fucked up!'_

Buffy pulled up alongside Dean and shut off her engine. She stepped out of her car, stretching her stiff muscles, as she waited for Dean to emerge. She was completely exhausted, and secretly dreading the confrontation they were about to have. She didn't want to drive a wedge between the brothers. That wasn't her goal at all, and she honestly hoped that Sam would hear them out.

Her eyes strayed to the silhouette of Dean's still form sitting in his car. He sat stiff and unmoving; his attention drawn to the front door of the darkened house. Anger filled her at the thought of what he must have gone through, what he must still be going through. He shouldn't have had to endure any of this. What in the hell was wrong with this world's Powers anyway, especially if it really was the infamously proclaimed God.

If, what the bible said was true, and not that she knew much about the bible, she did have a basic understanding. She heard that God was humanity's creator. If this was true, then why would he do something like this to one of his children, especially one who was only a mere man. A man with no demon, no powers, just a mortal human being. He was their champion. He had to be, or else they wouldn't have pulled him out of Hell. But why they allowed him to go in the first place, she couldn't understand.

The Powers of her world had allowed Angel to go to a hell, but those circumstances had been very different. Angel was a demon. Furthermore he'd been the one who tried to open the door to begin with. Buffy wasn't positive, but she assumed that the Powers were somehow trying to teach Angel's demon a lesson, and without his soul, it wouldn't have worked.

She sighed, as she felt the beginnings of a headache. She walked around to the back of her trunk, and unlocked it. She figured thatBobby guy might need a little more proof that she was telling the truth, and luckily thanks to Giles, she had packed just what the doctor ordered.

Dean felt the little blonde's eyes on him, as he studied Bobby's front door. He gritted his teeth in aggravation. This was just irritating. He really didn't need to be pitied. He didn't deserve it. Not after all he had done.

The memories of Hell were coming back quickly now, and he found himself swallowing bile when an onslaught would occur. Being here after all this time…it was incredible and wonderful, or at least it should have been. Yet, Dean just found the whole experience…terrifying.

He didn't deserve to be back. Not after all those people, not after the enjoyment he got from what he did, from the power he felt at tearing them to shreds. He shouldn't have broken so easily. He shouldn't have…_'And god, do I sound like a sniveling little girl. Come on Dean! Pull it together man!'_

He growled in frustration, and slammed his fist against the stirring wheel. _'Okay, what would the old me be doing right about now… Chicks, that's it! Chicks! I'd be looking to get laid. Oh…and maybe some pie. Oh yeah, pie! That sounds awesome! Okay Dean first pie and then…_Dean slid out of the impala, cracking his back as he stood. His eyes moved to the girl, who was now rooting around in her trunk, and a slow smile spread over his lips. _'And then maybe I won't have to look too hard for a chick.'_

She was so tiny compared to her giant boat of a car that it was comical. His eyes wandered over her body, lingering appreciatively at the way her jeans hugged her cute little ass.

For the first time since coming back, Dean's libido made itself known. His smile grew at the relief, he felt knowing everything still worked. He quickly adjusted himself though, not wanting to announce to the world his raging predicament.

His eyes once more perused over her body as she leaned further into the trunk reaching for something. She was a sexy little thing that was for sure. Especially with the way her shirt was riding up, and teasing him with the smooth expanse of her back. He wanted to reach out and run his fingers along the skin, but he didn't dare.

He realized then, as the scene, he had walked in on earlier today replayed in his head, how strong she must be. She pinned Sammy to a wall today without even breaking a sweat. How that was possible he didn't know, but he had seen it, and though she said she was Hulk strong. If he hadn't seen what he did, he wouldn't have believed her.

Just the thought of his brother was the proverbial bucket of ice water he needed right then, and Dean adjusted himself once more, clearing his throat. "Need some help?"

Buffy grunted, finally getting the leverage, she needed to open the secret compartment in her trunk. She slid her fingers along the rough surface at the back of the trunk, until she felt the hidden button. She pressed it, and the large hidden compartment popped open. She reached inside grabbing the books Giles had insisted she take with her.

"Here," She said handing him the pile of books.

Dean grunted as she placed the heavy stack of books in his hands. He cringed at just the idea of all the heavy reading. That's something that definitely hadn't changed. He still hated research. "What the hell is all this?"

She shrugged, grabbing her duffle bag, and slamming the trunk closed. "It's books about the Slayer and where I come from. I figured Bobby would want to look at them. Sam said he's your go-to-guy when you can't figure something out."

Dean grunted in response and began heading up the front porch of Bobby's home. The door flew open suddenly, just as Dean reached the top step, and there was Sam wide-eyed and worried. Dean stopped short at the patented Sam bitch-face he was giving him, and he rolled his eyes. "Outta my way." He groused, as he pushed past Sam.

He really didn't want to have this conversation right now. He dropped the books on Bobby's desk, and raised his eyebrow when it looked like Bobby was going to complain. "These are books from Buffy's world. She thought you would want to take a look."

Bobby studied the worn leather bindings, and he couldn't help the excited gleam that came into his eyes. "And these are real?"

"They are." Buffy grunted as she pushed past Sam, throwing him a glare over her shoulder. "Gee Sam. It was so nice of you to wait for us. I was just telling Dean how considerate you are."

Sam glowered at her, but before he could say anything, Bobby spoke up. "It was my idea. Sam wanted to wait, but I know my boys. Dean needed time."

Buffy eyes went to Bobby and she shrugged. "I guess, I get that. Sorry Sam."

Sam's eyebrows went up in response, not used to the little blonde apologizing for anything. That's when he caught the guilty look in her eye. He wondered briefly if she felt guilty for more than just accusing him of leaving without his brother. He had gotten to know her pretty well these past few months. Or at least he thought he had. Now he wasn't so sure.

However, even after all her evasive comments about who she was, and where she was from. Even after all the lies and half-truths, there was still a huge part of Sam that _knew_ he could trust her. She'd proven herself time and time again after all, and Sam knew without a shadow of a doubt that if she hadn't found him, he would be dead.

_That first month, Sam was a mess. He was drunk and reckless, just looking for a way out. Especially when he found out there was no way to bring Dean back. That no one would deal with him, and there wasn't a way to get in. It was shortly after that revelation, during one of his drunken, and reckless fits, that Buffy found him. The first night she had saved his life._

_Sam was stumbling home to his motel room so drunk he could barely walk, when suddenly he was jumped by four of Lilith's demons. They had pinned him to the wall, and though Sam tried to fight back, his arms felt like they were weighted at his side. No matter how much strength he used, he couldn't throw the evil bastards off. _

_They laughed at him, making all kinds of comments about what Dean was going through. How his brother had died for nothing, because they were just going to slit his throat anyway. _

_Sam knew he was going to die at that moment, was sure of it, and he had never been more consumed with regret in his life. It was then, that one by one; all the demons began to die. It happened so fast the demons didn't even have time to react before they were all nothing more than lifeless bodies on the floor. He only caught a glimpse of Buffy's face, before he passed out. _

Sam's eyes went back to Buffy. She had saved his life that night, and several times after. He didn't like it that she lied to him, but she was right. He would never have believed her if she had told him the truth from the start. He just didn't know how to feel about all this, and he couldn't stop the anger or the betrayal he felt towards her.

Buffy sighed, and ran her fingers through her disheveled hair, making a face when her hand got tangled in the knots. She really needed a shower. "Umm…do you think maybe I could use your shower? I wouldn't normally ask, but I've been on the road for nine hours, and I'm pretty sure I smell like it too."

Dean smirked at her forward statement, and Sam just rolled his eyes, used to Buffy's frankness when it came to such things. Bobby looked on suspiciously for a long while, finally grunting in response. "Sam, show her where it is."

Buffy smiled in relief when Bobby told Sam to take her to the bathroom. Not only did she want to wash the road off of her, but she figured that giving the three men some alone time was probably for the best.

Sam didn't say much as he led her to the bathroom. Not that Buffy really expected him too. Though, even a harsh word right now might have been better than this silence. She sighed in frustration once they were in front of the bathroom door and quickly turned to face him.

"Look Sam, for whatever it's worth, I really am sorry."

Sam stopped dead in his tracks and with his back to her, replied. "Which part?"

"I'm sorry?" Buffy asked, not sure what Sam wanted from her.

Sam whirled around then, letting his hurt and betrayal show on his face. "I want to know which part you're sorry about…I mean are you sorry you've been lying to me for the past three and a half months," He snarled, throwing out his hands in frustration. "Or are you just sorry that you've known Dean was getting out of Hell this whole time, and you sat there silently, allowing me to go through what I went through."

Sam pointed at her angrily. "You _knew_ Buffy! You fucking knew, and yet you did nothing to ease my pain. Nothing! Do you have any idea what I was going through, what losing him did to me? Do you?"

Buffy's eyes filled with tears at Sam's angry words, and she nodded stepping forward, flinching slightly when he stepped back. "Yes of course I know. God Sam…I'm so sorry. If I could have, I would have told you everything that first day. I swear it…but…but… if I had, they could have pulled me out…they probably would have. They really don't like it when I break their rules."

"I just…I thought you were my friend." Sam said, anger still tainting his voice, but with an undercurrent of hurt and sadness there.

"I am!" Buffy exclaimed, taken aback by his assumption.

"Yeah, well you sure have a funny way of showing it, because if it had been you, I would have taken my chances and told you!" And with that, he turned around and stormed off.

Buffy stared sadly at his retreating back for a long moment. She sighed miserably, scowling at the heavens. "Thanks a lot guys!" She muttered, before turning around and heading to the shower. Sometimes her job really sucked ass!

* * *

After a long hot shower and a little time to get her thoughts in order, Buffy finally felt a little better. It sucked that her and Sam's friendship was probably pretty much destroyed, but at the same time, she knew she had done the right thing. It didn't matter how angry he was with her, because it was blatantly obvious to her now. This world needed her, and it needed her badly.

It just wasn't in her to allow any human race to fend for them without some kind of protection. It was aggravating enough to see the broken and lost look on all three of the men's faces, and she was finding herself disliking this world's Powers more and more. _What the hell was wrong with them? _

People are the reason, there is a balance, protecting humanity should be a number one priority, and three mortal men with normal human strength shouldn't be the ones who have to stand at the front of the line. There should be someone like her here, someone chosen to fight the good fight, and take the brunt of the badness.

She understood that Dean was their Champion, but he shouldn't have to be. He wasn't superhuman in anyway. He was simply a man, and that too Buffy, was in no way fair.

She sighed opening the bathroom door, only to stop short at the raised voices she heard coming from the library.

* * *

"You're what!" Dean snarled, getting in his brothers face.

"I know how it sounds, Dean, but you have to understand; I'm saving people… lots of people, and it really works!" Sam said, trying to plead his case with his brother.

Dean shook his head in disgust not even wanting to hear anymore. "Do you have any idea how far off the reservation you've gone? How far from human? I haven't even seen you do it, and it creeps me the hell out!"

"I'm just exorcising demons." Sam said quietly.

"With your mind!" Dean shouted, shaking his head in frustration and lowering his voice "Why not use the knife Sammy? That works just as well."

"But it kills the victim Dean! What I do, most of them survive!" Sam's voice reached volume, from his sheer frustration at the lack of understanding he was getting from Dean.

Dean stopped then and eyed his brother. "Is that what Ruby wants you to think? Kind of like the same way she tricked you into using your powers." He shook his head as a sad knowing look shown through his eyes, and he said quietly. "It's a slippery slope brother. Just wait and see…because it's gonna get darker and darker, and god knows where it ends."

"I'm not going to let it go too far." Sam whispered, on the brink of tears at his brother's words.

"It already has." A quiet feminine voice said from the doorway. Both men turned, startled by the quiet hesitance they heard in said voice.

It was in that moment, that Dean's world stopped spinning, and just about a thousand pornographic images flooded his mind. She stood there in a little white tank-top, and a pair of pink pajama bottoms. Her hair cascaded down her back, still damp from her shower and smelling like jasmine. If it wasn't for the seriousness of the situation, he might have even made a move on her right then.

Buffy's eyes stayed on Sam, even when she felt Dean's boring into her. "I know I'm not one of your most favorite people right now, and there's really nothing else I can say except that I'm sorry." She paused then taking a deep breath, "But, I am here to help whether you like it or not, and this whole thing has gone way too far."

Buffy shook her head trying to find the right words, even when she knew there were none. "I lied…Yes. I know, but I did it because I had to, because I didn't have a choice. I understand if you hate me for it and…and if you can't forgive me…I-I guess that's okay too. But, I'm not the only one guilty here."

When Sam opened his mouth, Buffy held up her hand forestalling any reply. Giles had taught her well. "I didn't know what you were up to until a few days ago…I had suspected something for about a month, but I hadn't wanted to believe it. I-I trusted you Sam. I really did."

She sighed sadly, shaking her head. "And then you started disappearing all the time…I would wake up in the middle of the night, and you wouldn't be there." She shrugged. "At first, I really didn't care. I figured hey; you're a guy, and though you really didn't seem like the type…I certainly didn't care if you were out getting your jollies off with some girl. That was none of my business. _But,_ what was my business was keeping you safe, and when you came home with that black eye, I knew something was up. I decided to follow you the next evening, and lo and behold, who else do I find, but you and Ruby chumming it up like old pals, and sucking a demon out of some poor guy."

Buffy shook her head letting her hurt and betrayal show on her face. "I was supposed to be protecting you from her, and there you are acting all close and friendly…You're lucky I didn't kill her. If I hadn't seen you two kissing, I might have."

"Excuse me!" Dean roared, turning cold disbelieving eyes on his brother. "What in the hell did I just hear!"

It was at that moment that Bobby walked in from the kitchen. "Do you three chuckleheads think you could stop with the lovers quarrel for a few minutes? We got bigger problems right now."

"What is it Bobby?" Sam asked, avoiding Dean's glare.

"I was calling a friend a state over to help with the whole angel thing." Bobby said, in a rough voice filled with emotion. "We was talking on the phone, and something happened. I-I thought I heard her scream and then the line went dead." He paused swallowing the rising panic he felt that a fellow hunter might have just kicked it. "Olivia Lowry's good people, I'd hate to think of something bad happening to her."

"We'll follow you." Dean said nodding. He then turned furious eyes on his brother, "And you're riding with me. We are going to spend the next few hours catching up!"

* * *

Buffy took a large pull from her cigarette as she waited for Sam to pick up. They were dead, all of them. She took a drink from her coffee, thanking her Slayer stamina that she was even still standing. It had been almost three days since she had even seen a bed. God, she was exhausted. She could only imagine how well the guys were faring.

They found Olivia's body early yesterday morning. Her chest had been ripped open, an EMF meter not too far from her body, and there had been salt all over the house. It had been obvious that she had been the victim of an angry spirit.

Poor Bobby had taken it pretty hard, and when he had tried to call in a few more hunters to come help with the body. No one was answering their phone. He got really worried then, and gave everyone a different hunter to go and check on.

Buffy had just finished up checking on a hunter by the name of Jed Miller, and the news wasn't good. He had been torn to shreds. His body more damaged than Olivia's. The inside of the house was in shambles too. Salt rounds everywhere and broken glass littered the floor. It was only obvious the poor guy must have put up a hell of a fight.

"Yeah!" Sam answered, panting and out of breath.

"Sam! Are you all right?" Buffy asked when she heard the panicked sound in his voice. She tossed her cigarette butt to the ground, and quickly got into the Desoto.

"I was just attacked by a ghost, and now Dean can't get a hold of Bobby?" Sam said urgently. "How far away are you from his house?"

Buffy started her engine and quickly maneuvered the car onto the road, "About an hour, but if I speed, thirty minutes."

"Do it! You're closer than us!" Sam said, relief flooding his voice.

"I'm on my way." She said, taking off at full speed as a lone figure watched her departure from the shadows of the trees.

* * *

She must have broken about a hundred different laws driving to Bobby's, but she made it there in record time. Twenty-five minutes later, she came to a screeching stop outside of Bobby's home. She grabbed her shot gun from the trunk and ran at full speed up his porch, dialing Sam in the process.

"Okay. I'm here." She said stepping inside the front door and looking around, noting the discarded iron poker on the ground.

"Bobby?" She called, and then said into her phone. "It looks like he was fighting something off…his fireplace poker is on the floor… No, I…Wait!"

Buffy's eyes quickly traveled up to the ceiling, and she listened. When the quiet sound of movement drifted to her ears again, she whispered, "I think I just heard something upstairs."

It was at that moment that a familiar chill went up her spine. "I think there's something here."

She heard Sam yell at Dean to punch-it, as she slowly made her way up the stairs. Her breath became cold and foggy the closer she got to the top, and her phone filled with static. She couldn't make out the words that Sam was yelling at her. Something about revenge, but even that she couldn't be sure about.

As she reached the top step, her Slayer senses went haywire, and she pointed her weapon in the direction the feeling was coming from. There was a figure at the end of the hall shrouded in darkness, the silhouette all too familiar.

It couldn't be…she was just tired and hallucinating. She walked further down the hallway, keeping her weapon trained on the figure and fighting the cold chill she felt coming off of it.

"Who's there?" She called, drawing closer, and then the thing stepped into the light.

In that moment, everything froze. Time stopped completely, and Buffy's gun went clattering to the ground. She must have completely lost it, because standing in front of her was someone who couldn't possibly be there, someone she had to be imagining.

He had that same look! The one she always feared she'd see in his all too expressive gaze. They were cold, and filled with violence that was most definitely aimed at her. A chill went up her spine at the cold smirk that drew across his face, and she braced herself to hear a voice that she had longed to hear for so long.

"Hello cutie."

His voice was icy and unfeeling, and her heart broke a little bit in that moment. She didn't know what this was, but it took every bit of her strength to keep from falling to her knees.

"S-Spike!"


End file.
